Pity Me!

I am on my last day of four days off and where I was planning to go into town and treat myself to comics today I can barely bring myself to get out of bed. I think I have food poisoning. I had some turkey yesterday and when I'd finished it I thought something was wrong but I hoped that it was just that I'd eaten too much. No such luck. From midnight last night until about 10:00 this morning I have been going to the toilet about every 20 minutes. I hate to be indelicate but if it's not one end it's the other!!
I have a temperature too and ache all over and I've been trying to sweat it out, like I do with colds. Despite being really warm around the face, neck and shoulders at times I was actually cold over the rest of my body, so I have been trying to reach a happy medium of hot and cold. I am currently sat here, after dragging myself out of bed, with a thick full tracksuit on, but I also have the window open and the fan going.
Of course I am being a total man about this, which basically means I am feeling sorry for myself and wondering why no one is producing an endless supply of cold drinks for me and dabbing my forehead with a damp flannel! Part of the reason could be because you, dear blog-reader, are the first person I've told about my imminent "death!"
I do wish I knew of someone who could come around and pander to my every requirement, but that would just encourage me! The fact is that while I have been typing the above, my fever has just broke, so I think I am nearing the end of my suffering! I was, strangely hoping, that it would continue into the night so I would have an excuse not to go to work in the morning. I guess I could still fake it, or I may indeed have a relapse! But, as much as I don't want to go to work, I can't afford to take time off as we do not get sick pay, so I think my decision will be made for me. We shall see how I feel when I go to bed tonight.

Pity me! I'm a man and I'm not well!