14th July

LGBT people born today:
1454 – Poliziano – Italian Poet – Died 24th September 1494
1918 – Arthur Laurents – US Playwright / Director / Screenwriter / Librettist
1932 – Jim French – [aka Rip Colt] US Illustrator / Photographer
1946 – Terry Ryan – US Author – Died 16th May 2007
1958 – Joe Keenan – US Author / Producer / Screenwriter
1958 – Scott Rudin – US Producer
1960 – Jane Lynch – US Comedian / Actress / Singer
1963 – Robert Black – US Porn
1969 – Billy Herrington – US Porn 1976 – Monique Covet – Hungarian Porn
1980 – Balian Buschbaum – German Pole Vaulter
???? - Blue Blake – UK Porn / Director / Royal Marine

And those who died:
1895 – Karl Heinrich Ulrichs – German Author / Activist – Born 28th August 1825
1954 – Jacinto Benavente – Spanish Author – Born 12th August 1866
1990 – Walter Sedlmayr – German Actor – Born 6th January 1926
2008 – Katie Reider – US Singer / Songwriter – Born 23rd May 1978

No More Money?????

I had a one-to-one chat with the new contract manager for the security firm who are taking over where I work. It was a bit of a waste of time, like the meeting 2 weeks ago, but he handed over some forms we need to fill out etc. One thing I did learn, all my other questions going unanswered, was that our rate of pay will be staying the same "probably for at least a year." I couldn't believe this, the new client company expect us to work for the same rate with a fully occupied building as when it was only 10% occupied?? I think that is taking the pi55!!!! Even more incentive to find another job quickly.
I did mention to this manager that ISS, his company, were the company who sacked me when I was employed at Goldman Sachs, but he seemed to think that this would not be a problem. We shall see!
Oh, and it looks like there won't be an equivalent job for my boss, meaning that he will probably have to take a lowlier job (though they will have to keep his money the same). This will almost certainly encourage him to leave his cushy life here!! Never mind.

13th July

LGBT people born today:
100BC – Julius Caesar – Roman Emperor – Died 15th March 44BC
1863 – Mary Emma Woolley – US Activist – Died 5th September 1947
1933 – Scott Symons – Canadian Author – Died 23rd February 2009
1935 – Monique Wittig – French Author – Died 3rd January 2003
1948 – El Kazovsky – Hungarian Painter – Died 21st July 2008
1967 – Dale Peck – US Author / Columnist
1968 – Robert Gant – US Model / Actor

And those who died:
1945 – Alla Nazimova – Russian Actress / Producer – Born 22nd May 1879
1952 – Marie Equi – US Doctor / Anarchist – Born 7th April 1872
1954 – Frida Kahlo – Mexican Painter – Born 6th July 1907
1960 – Anna Blaman – Dutch Author – Born 31st January 1905
1978 – Oliver Messel – UK Artist – Born 13th January 1904

As Expected

Yep! Today was as boring as I imagined/remembered it would be! Within half an hour I was bored. To make matters worse the internet kept crashing to the point where I gave up on it in the end and began playing Spider Solitaire instead. Still, I have to console myself somehow and I will do it by remembering that I only work 4 days in a row and one of them is already gone. 25%. One quarter.

I should be in a good mood anyway. I should have mentioned this yesterday but I forgot somehow! I have paid off yet another of my debts. So, now I just have 2 more to go. One of which will be paid off by mid-September at the latest, the other I have to get a balance on (and can't do that until Monday), but know that it is now a vast amount and may be able to pay it off this month, depending on how much I spend in Torquay, but more likely with next months pay. If it is a lowish amount then I will also pay off the other debt at the same time.
Once they are both paid off I will be so much more better off each month, I think I may even be able to have a proper life and, heaven forbid, maybe even be able to go on holiday!!! Hopefully to Australia, if Dean's offer to stay with him still stands!
I then also have my overdraft which I want to get rid of, but that is another step that can be done gradually, as it doesn't cost me that much money each month.

Oh, there is also one it of bad news. I found out yesterday, when I gave Kevin his rent money, that my rent is going up from next month by £35. It sounds like a lot, but it is still a really good rate, so I won't moan too much. I did think, however, that Kevin could have waited until the new guy was in before hiking the rent! Oh well! Hopefully by doing that he may actually get around to replacing the faulty television in the living room that he has been talking about doing for 6 months, or fixing the leak in the bathroom, or the faulty dishwasher, etc.... etc.... etc.....

12th July

LGBT people born today:
1934 – Van Cliburn – US Pianist
1970 – Phil Jiminez – US Comic Book Artist 1970 – Juba Kalamka – US Rapper / Activist
1970 – Jaason Simmons – Australian Actor
1974 – Trent Vanegas – US Blogger [Pink is the New Blog]
1975 – Cheyenne Jackson – US Actor / Singer 1975 – Johnny McGovern – US Comedian / Musician / Actor

And those who died:
1536 – Desiderius Erasmus – Dutch Theologian – Born 27th October 1466/9
1950 – Elsie de Wolfe – US Actress / Interior Designer – Born 20th December 1865
1961 – Mazo de la Roche – Canadian Author – Born 15th January 1879
2001 – James Bernard – UK Composer – Born 20th September 1925

Last Day Off

It is the last day of this set of 12 days off and I am really bored. I have no one to hang out with (which isn't unusual in itself), I am not in the mood to go out anyway really. I am feeling tired, even though it is only 15:20 in the afternoon and what have I accomplished so far today? I've had breakfast (at lunchtime), I've found out that the dishwasher if f****d so have done two skinfuls of washing up, and I've discovered that I am addicted to Bejeweled on Facebook.
I could go and see Tim again, but I know of at least 3 people who will be visiting him today so I don't want to crowd him too much.
I think I will watch the final episode of Torchwood again later (on iPlayer), but other than that who knows.

11th July

LGBT people born today:
1931 – Tab Hunter – US Actor / Singer
1934 – Giorgio Armani – Italian Fashion Designer
1937 – Pai Hsien-Yung – Chinese Author
1939 – Seth Gaaikema – Dutch Comedian
1946 – Vito Russo – US Author / Historian / Activist – Died 7th November 1990
1946 – Martin Wong – US Painter – Died 12th August 1999
1946 – Jack Wrangler – US Porn / Actor / Playwright / Producer / Director – Died 7th April 2009 [previously incorrectly stated as being born in June]
1968 – Esera Tuaolo – US American Footballer
1971 – Leisha Hailey – US Actress / Singer / Musician / Producer
1971 – Bo Matthews – US Porn

And those who died:
1973 – Nobuko Yoshiya – Japanese Author – Born 12th January 1896
1987 – Tom Waddell – US Decathlete / Founder of the Gay Games - Born 1st January 1937
1994 – Savannah – US Porn – Born 9th October 1970

Torchwood - Children of Earth - Day 5

*****MAJOR SPOILER WARNING*****

Torchwood - Children of Earth

Stunning

This series of just five hour long programs should surely go down as one of the all time classic BBC dramas. Yes, it may be "sci-fi" but the underlying current of the whole story was the depths that humanity will go to in order to preserve itself. It studied the human condition down to its dirtiest depths. It wasn't pretty.
With shows like Dr Who and Torchwood, we normally see the lighter side of tragedy, if there could be such a thing. Dead heroes get a second chance, the bad guy always gets defeated and everyone lives another day able to forget the troubled times they have just survived. This story shows that there are always consequences, that life is full of difficult choices, and you cannot forget the past, you cannot hide the truth forever and that, in the end, we all die.
This series is an amazing triumph for Russell T Davies, and he certainly seems to be getting all the praise, though he did co-write this series with two others (John Fay and James Moran). Personally, I think a lot of the success should be attributed to the fantastic directing of Euros Lyn, who has always done marvelous work on Dr Who and Torchwood before, but excelled himself with this story. Also to be highly praised should be Ben Foster who composed the soundtrack for the series. There are also a multitude of people behind the scenes who never see praise because they are so skilled at their jobs that they are never even noticed. All the crew should be proud of their work.
All of the above hard work would have been for nothing though if it wasn't for the amazing performances put in by ALL the cast. I cannot fault any of the actors, from the hundreds of children who all played their part superbly, without resorting to OTT "stage school" acting that some child actors can do, to the main players whose performances tugged at our heart strings throughout the five days of drama.
Eve Myles surpassed herself in this series, as did Kai Owen, who finally got a chance to really shine. Even John Barrowman, whose acting I have criticised previously, didn't overplay his scenes and performed them exactly how they should have been seen.
Gareth David-Lloyd, my favourite of the main cast, didn't make an appearance in this final episode, but his performance throughout the previous ones was true to character; quiet, subservient, while being truly heroic. He died a quiet death, not making a scene, but stating to his loved one his true feelings at the last possible moment. An understated death for an understated character. For this reason I am glad in a way that his death was final, and he wasn't brought back as he would have been in some other series'. If he had been brought back it would have only have cheapened his heroism. The truth of Torchwood is that its operatives very rarely die of natural causes, as was stated in this series itself.
Looking back, we should have know Ianto was going to die, when he began talking to Jack about him watching Ianto grow old. A sure give-away that I missed at the time.

If there is any justice, not only should this series be nominated for multiple BAFTAs, but it should also win them all. And that should just be the tip of the award iceberg. Programs like this are exactly what the licence fee should be used to produce. More of the same BBC please, more of the same.

Tim Latest

I have just returned from visiting Tim this afternoon. I was a bit hesitant about visiting today as he hadn't wanted any visitors on Wednesday and I wasn't sure if he would be overwhelmed with them today. When I got there though it was just him and Niall. I don't think Niall really wanted anyone else to be there, but to be honest, it wasn't as if visitors mattered at all, he was more interested in the fact that he was unable to get internet access on the hospital system that supposedly offered it. The interface just kept telling him "Coming Soon." He is still a little confused and so wasn't quite sure if this meant later today, tomorrow or next week. He settled down eventually once he was able to get through to the helpdesk and they told him 2 weeks. I think this was just a number to get him off the phone because, and to prove that Tim is almost back to normal, he was going all around the houses trying to ask the questions that he wanted (For those of you who don't know Tim, he always uses a 20 word sentence when most people would use 5!). It was reassuring to see this, though frustrating as it always is with Tim's sometimes unnecessarily long-winded conversations. He was still confused about some things though, at one point when I'd just arrived he said that it was Friday, but then five minutes later thought that it was Thursday. I asked if he had seen Torchwood at all and he said he had caught a bit of it, but then described a story that bore no resemblance to the real story this week. (Something about Annette Crosbie being a madam in a Victorian brothel and being responsible for the death of Mickey Smith! I hope he hasn't given away a future story line!).
He made me cry laughing at one point when he was talking to one of the doctors doing her rounds. He was explaining how he didn't want to be moaning all the time to the nurses etc, and how the other guy in his room certainly didn't want to listen to Tim's moaning in his last dying hours. Again, if you don't know Tim, he has a tendency to talk in a very loud voice, which he did while he was saying this too. As far as I was aware the guy wasn't actually dying so I was glad to see he was asleep at this point and hadn't heard Tim! I couldn't stop crying with laughter for a while at that.
I stayed for just over an hour and left when Tim said that he wanted to get some sleep. Niall left at the same time.
All in all he is still getting better, though his confusion was a bit upsetting at times, and very frustrating. I've not decided if I am going to visit tomorrow yet. Being the weekend there will probably be a lot more people able to visit him and I don't want to overwhelm him again. I'm sure he won't miss me being there, although I won't be able to visit again for about 2 weeks what with work and my trip to Torquay! I'll decide tomorrow.

10th July

LGBT people born today:
1640 – Aphra Behn – UK Author / Playwright – Died 16th April 1689
1871 – Marcel Proust – French Author / Critic – Died 18th November 1922
1931 – Jerry Herman – US Composer / Lyricist
1934 – Alfred Biolek – Czech / German Producer / Entertainer
1954 – Neil Tennant – UK Singer
1958 – Fiona Shaw – Irish Actress
1964 – Mark Levengood – Finnish Journalist / Author / Presenter
1965 – Alec Mapa – US Actor / Author / Comedian / Activist
1969 – Alexandra Hedison – US Actress / Director / Photographer
1985 – Miljuschka Witzenhausen – Dutch Model / Actress / Presenter

And those who died:
138 AD – Hadrian – Roman Emperor – Born 24th January 76 AD
1991 – Lee Ryder – US Porn – Born 3rd August 1959
2004 – Inge Meysel – German Actress – Born 30th May 1910

A Wasted Day

Once again I have completely wasted a day of my holiday by doing nothing of importance or interest.
I took a walk to King's Cross and popped into the British Library to have a browse around the books there, but was unaware that you had to provide i.d. and tell them what books you want, just to get into the reading rooms! I also don't think that it was quite what I was expecting as the directories on each floor didn't seem to indicate very many subjects for the reading rooms to contain. I had visions of it being like The Library in Dr Who [Silence in the Library / Forest of the Dead] with copies of every single book ever. Maybe it has, but just not as accessible as I wanted.
I had planned to go to King's College Hospital to visit Tim in his new ward, but never got around to it. When I got back from the Library, at about 13:00 I had some lunch while re-watching last night's Torchwood, and then fell asleep on my bed. I woke at about 17:00 and really didn't feel like battling through the rush hour to get to the hospital for a ten minute visit. I'll try and get there tomorrow, if he is up for a visit.
So all I have really done today is watch Neighbours, Home & Away and Torchwood. Oh well. There is always tomorrow, though I can't see me doing much tomorrow either. I'm fed up of doing everything on my own.

Torchwood - Children of Earth - Day 4

*****SPOILER WARNING*****

The true horror of this whole marvelous story was revealed tonight. The greatest threat that could ever face the human race reared its ugly head and made itself known. Torchwood recorded it and threatened to expose it to the world at large.

The real threat to Earth is government.

The very people who are elected to run our countries, to keep us going and to keep us safe, are the very people who will decide who will be sacrificed "for the greater good." Those people who are in their positions through good fortune alone (whether that be through being born into the right family, getting the right education, or just getting the right opportunities), those people are the ones who will sell out those less fortunate in their charge while ensuring their families are safe and secure, no matter what the circumstances.
The horror of this story is so terrifying because we all know, consciously or subconsciously, that it happens every day in every country. Not just in those countries run by tyrants, but those in the "free world" too. Especially those in the "free world," because they are the ones who are doing it surreptitiously.

Think nuclear / chemical weapons [developed without public knowledge; used without public approval];
Think wars [waged without public consent, for wealth not freedom];
Think Guantanamo Bay [mass incarcerations without trial];
Think Rendition [torture hiding behind semantics];
Think terrorism [deals made, warnings ignored, opportunities missed through pride];

That is what government has to answer for but never does.

Think Official Secrets Act [and what multitude of horrors could be hidden behind that].

Children of Earth is a thrilling ride told over the space of 5 days, leaving you wanting more every time and delivering just enough to keep you hooked. I personally am torn between wanting to see the final instalment tomorrow and never wanting this story to end.
I am also in denial about Ianto. Will there be a way back for him? It doesn't look likely, but with the Dr Who franchise you never know.
Looks like I am staying in tomorrow night again.

9th July

LGBT people born today:
1908 – Minor White – US Photographer – Died 24th June 1976
1915 – David Diamond – US Composer – Died 13th June 2005
1936 – June Jordan – US Activist / Author / Poet / Teacher / Journalist – Died 14th June 2002
1937 – David Hockney – UK Painter / Printmaker / Photographer
1957 – Marc Almond – UK Singer
1957 - Kelly McGillis - US Actress
1959 – Paul Lisicky – US Author
1960 – Remi van der Elzen – Dutch Journalist / Presenter
1965 – Anthony Romero – US Activist
1978 – Mark Medlock – German Singer
1979 – D’Geyrald – French Singer / Presenter
1984 – Justin R Cannon – US Religious Website Founder

And those who died:
1974 – Katharine Cornell – US Actress / Producer – Born 16th February 1893
1987 – Paul Rapoport – US Attorney / Activist – Born 6th March 1940

Torchwood - Children of Earth - Day 3

*****SPOILER WARNING*****

Though not quite as impressive as the first 2 episodes, Day 3 was still a thrilling ride.
More riddles and tons more questions:

• Why did Jack give the 456 twelve children back in the 1960's?
• What exactly do the 456 do with the children once they have them?
• What is the significance of that green goo that keeps exploding onto the front of the 456 tank?
• Will Rhys become an official member of the team? He could be their transportation specialist and apparently he's very good with beans!!
• What will happen to Alice & Steven?
• Who will have the pleasure of killing Agent Johnson? Someone has got to she is just too sour-faced to survive!!
• Why would the leaders of the "free nations" of Earth allow negotiations with an alien race be conducted by a fairly insignificant civil servant?

Whatever else happens in the story, I think that this will be one Torchwood DVD box set that I will buy!

Down Day

I'm feeling really down at the moment after having a day of doing practically nothing. I had good intentions this morning of heading off to visit Tim at the hospital, providing he was lucid after his leg operation yesterday. I phoned the hospital and they confirmed that he'd had the operation and it went very well. The nurse asked Tim if he was up to having visitors today and he said that he wasn't. So I didn't visit. Apparently he will be moving to another ward either today or tomorrow, so I hope to visit him sometime tomorrow, again if he is up to it.
Not going to the hospital knocked me for six though as I hadn't planned on doing anything else all day, except maybe going out for a drink when I got back. I didn't know what else to do with my day. The weather was really bad, every 10 minutes it was raining and so I didn't feel like heading out for a walk (especially having nowhere in particular to walk to).
I decided to go to the library and do some research for my LGBT database, but couldn't find any of the information I was after and so quickly lost interest in that. After reading another couple of chapters of Maybe the Moon, I came home.
I'm feeling horny as hell, but unable to do anything about it until my results come through from the hospital next week.
And I have no one to spend time with at all now, what with Tim being in hospital. I really wish I had more friends around here in London.

Down. Down. Down.

I've watched 2 episodes of Dr Who on iPlayer today (old ones of course), I'll probably watch last night's Torchwood again before watching the third instalment of this story at 21:00. Other than that I have absolutely nothing planned.
I could have gone into town tonight, but I'm glad I didn't as I am really not in the mood to stand around drinking on my own. It probably would be quiet anyway with most queens still recovering (physically, emotionally or financially) after the Pride weekend that wasn't (for me anyway).
I guess I haven't felt down for a while, so I can't be too surprised that I am feeling that way now. I just don't have to like it. Hopefully, I will feel more like my recently happy self by the time I wake up tomorrow.

While I've been typing I had a call from Richard to give me an update on Tim (he popped in to see him on the way home from work). Tim has indeed moved out of intensive care now to another ward, but was still really tired and so Richard only stayed for 5 minutes. Apparently Tim mentioned that he would be having his titanium plate put in tomorrow, so I still don't know if I will get to see him tomorrow either. Visiting times are shorter on this new ward too by 4 hours!! I'll check in the morning before I decide, if I can find a number for the new ward!!

I'm back to work on Sunday and I really do not want to waste my last 3 days off. I wish I knew what to do with the time.

8th July

LGBT people born today:
1864 – F Holland Day – US Photographer – Died 12th November 1933
1866 – Benedict Friedlander – German Sexologist / Sociologist / Physicist – Died 21st June 1908
1906 – Philip Johnson – US Architect – Died 25th January 2005
1933 – Peter Orlovsky – US Poet
1953 – Michelle Abdill – US Hate Crime Victim – Died 4th December 1995
1958 – Andreas Carlgren – Swedish Politician
1968 – Thom Fitzgerald – US / Canadian Director
1976 – Iyari Limon – Mexican / US Actress

And those who died:
1991 – Gordon Stewart Anderson – Canadian Author – Born 1958
1994 – Dick Sargent – US Actor – Born 19th April 1930

Torchwood - I've Just Had A Thought....

*****SPOILER WARNING AGAIN*****

Re: Jack's resurrection after the bomb.

If Jack regrew his whole body from just a few pieces, then surely the other pieces that weren't found would also have regrown. Are we going to have the same sort of situation as we had with the Doctor's severed hand?
Jack's head wasn't in the pieces that were found and imprisoned, though part of his skull was, so the rest of the head could theoretically grow into The Face of Boe, as was hinted at a while back in Dr Who and confirmed by actors and production staff alike since. Though, why it remain as just a head is anyone's guess! The missing piece of skull could be why The Face of Boe has no hair, but tendrils in its place instead.
It could be that all of the "missing" pieces regenerated into Jacks (or other Boe-like lifeforms based on the pieces they grew from) and thus these "clones" could be the race referred to as "Boekind" in the Doctor Who series.

Whatever the answer, I'm guessing that we will have a while to wait until this riddle is answered fully (if it ever is).

Torchwood - Children of Earth - Day 2

*****SPOILER TIME AGAIN*****

**I'M SERIOUS, YOU DON'T WANT TO SPOIL THE SURPRISES!!**

So, episode 2 of Torchwood: Children of Earth has just finished and once again I am impressed, despite one reviewer (whose name I can't recall), who had a preview of the first three episodes, saying that 2 & 3 didn't live up to the promise of the first. I thought this episode kept the suspense going and still left up wanting more.

We want to know:

• Who are the 456? What will they look like [totally CGI is what I have heard]?
• Why send such detailed plans for an simple airtight box and specific gas mixture?
• Why is the government are targeting Torchwood and the others?
• Has Jack passed any "gifts" on to his daughter and grandson?
• Have we seen the last of Rupesh?
• Will Lois be a new member of Torchwood when this all ends?
• Who exactly has Martha married? Is it Dr Thomas Milligan?
• Who is Glynn, and why is he watching the bay?
• Why did so many people on the Facebook Torchwood fan site find "What's Occurring?" funny yesterday? What have I missed?
• And was it John Barrowman's idea to show his arse and cock so much in this episode? How much more boosting can his ego take? This is one of the major topics of conversation on Facebook!! Ridiculous!

The one let down of tonight's episode, other than John Barrowman showing his privates, was Jack's escape from the concrete block: too clean, too fast, too easy!
Ianto's naked brother-in-law was not pleasant to see, though it still made me laugh.

Once again, can't wait until tomorrow's installment. Good job I don't have a life innit?

No Seducing The Landlord!

I just had a brief conversation with my present landlord, Kevin about the new guy. I asked:
"So, when can I seduce the new landlord then?" He was too drunk to pick up that I was serious, but did mention that he would be here in about 6 weeks and that he has a girlfriend who is a presenter on Al Jazeera news station. Bummer! I guess he could still be bisexual, but I don't know if I can share a flat with a gorgeous guy who I can have nothing to do with! We shall see what happens. I may not even get to have a choice! Who knows what his plans are?

Sexual Health Time

**Please do not read if you are squeamish**

**especially the men**

For the last couple of days I have has an irritation in my cock, so I thought I should go to the sexual health clinic that is just around the corner at St Bart's Hospital. I went there last year for the same sort of thing. This time I also have a bit of a problem with my foreskin splitting when I pull it back, which as you can imagine is not nice. It doesn't bleed but is just really sore when this happens.
The last time I went to the clinic was last September, I should have gone back soon after for a Hepatitis booster but put it off so long that I forgot.
I got there just after they opened at midday and was labelled No 10 by the ticket machine. It's like being at the supermarket cheese counter, except this time I'm the one providing the cheese. ( ;-D - sorry!!).
I had all the usual things done; mouth swap, penis swab (ouch), blood test, & urine test. I had a new HIV mouth swab test too which provides results in 20 minutes (all clear again, my third test). The penis swab was negative, so I will have to wait a week to find out what comes of the blood and urine tests. I was given some Aqueous cream for my foreskin trouble and told to stop using soap to clean my "bits." I also finally had my Hepatitis booster, but have to go back in 8 weeks for a blood test to confirm its effectiveness.
Watch this space for the results. In the meantime I should abstain from sex. Shouldn't be difficult unfortunately.

I was incredibly disappointed at one point as the only decent looking guy there wasn't even allowed to sit down before he went to see the doctor. He was gorgeous, tanned, muscular and had to be at least 6' 3". Typical. I admit that the clinic is probably not the best place to pick someone up, but beggars can't be choosers!

Oh, did I mention that the staff were all really nice? Especially the doctor who saw me whose name is Ruth. Yes, believe it or not I was seen by Dr Ruth at the sexual health clinic!

7th July

LGBT people born today:
1899 – George Cukor – US Director – Died 24th January 1983
1911 – Gian Carlo Menotti – Italian / US Composer / Librettist – Died 1st February 2007
1935 – Kitty Genovese – US Murder Victim – Died 13th March 1964
1947 – David Hodo – US Singer [Village People]
1947 – Andre Sollie – Belgian Poet / Author / Illustrator
1970 – James Getzlaff – US Reality TV [Boy Meets Boy] / Actor 1973 – John Lapus – Filipino Actor / Presenter / Comedian
1975 – Andre Oktay Dahl – Norwegian Politician
1983 – Aaron Buckingham – UK Singer
1986 – Cameron Marshall – US Porn ???? - Rod Daily – US Porn

And those who died:
1984 – Charles Howard – US Hate Crime Victim – Born 31st January 1961
1990 – Cazuza – Brazilian Composer / Singer / Poet – Born 4th April 1958

Charles Howard, yet another hate crime victim this deadly month! Charles was chased with a friend, by three teenagers. When he was caught he was thrown into a river from a bridge, despite telling his assailants that he couldn't swim. He drowned. Killed just for being gay. Sometimes I hope there is a Hell.

Torchwood - Children of Earth

***** SPOILER WARNING*****

Please do not read this if you intend to watch Torchwood: Children of Earth (and I highly recommend that you DO watch it, it was brilliant).

I have just watched the first episode of the new Torchwood series: Children of Earth. To sum it up: "Wow!!"
Not as big of a "Wow" as Star Trek got but it was very, very, very good.

I am not going to go into too much detail as I don't want to spoil it for anyone too weak to avoid reading further here, and I also want to watch it again myself before commenting further (which I hope to do tomorrow via BBC iPlayer), just so that I can make sure I didn't miss anything pertinent to the story.

I wasn't expecting too much from the story to be honest, the trailers looked okay but didn't do the story justice at all. There was character development for all of the main characters including padding out all of their family histories... ALL of them.
I hope that Tim was able to watch it in whichever ward he is resting in at the moment. He would have loved it (I know Richard is recording it for him anyway, and if he wasn't I'm sure The Mill would sort something out for him, once he's recovered).
I cannot wait for part 2 tomorrow. My flatmate Alex was watching with me and even though he has never watched Torchwood before, he is hooked. Roll on tomorrow night at 21:00.

Back To Being Bored

Now that I don't have to worry as much about Tim, and we are all reducing our visits, I find myself being bored again. All I have done today is one load of washing, taken my work trousers to be dry cleaned, read a couple of chapters of Maybe the Moon at the library, and sorted through one (of about 30) boxes I have stored down in the cellar. This box had all my remaining videos, which I currently have nothing to play them on. As I am almost certainly going to Torquay again now, I thought I would take some videos down to give to Francis and Alexis, as I believe they both still have videos.
The weather has turned today too, so it is raining and hailing almost all the time. I was lucky that when I did pop out early this afternoon it was clear and still a bit sunny. I wonder if that is it for the British summer this year? I hope not as I've got Torquay and Brighton Prides coming up!

6th July

LGBT people born today:
1907 – Frida Kahlo – Mexican Painter – Died 13th July 1954
1916 – Harold Norse – US Author – Died 8th June 2009
1925 – Merv Griffin – US Singer / Actor / Presenter – Died 12th August 2007
1927 – Alan “Fluff” Freeman – Australian / UK Presenter – Died 27th November 2006
1943 – Leonard Matlovich – US Soldier / Activist – Died 22nd June 1988
1950 – Joe Acanfora – US Teacher / Activist
1964 – John Ottman – US Composer / Director / Film Editor

And those who died:
1992 – Marsha P Johnson – US Activist – Born 1945

Today also marks the anniversary of the murder in 1999 of Barry Winchell and American soldier who was in a relationship with Calpernia Addams, a male-to-female transsexual. Winchell was beaten to death, while he was sleeping, with a baseball bat by Calvin Glover, a fellow soldier. The real reason for the murder is confused, but may have been initiated by the relationship between Winchell and Addams which a third soldier, Justin Fisher, had been spreading rumours about, all during the early Don't Ask, Don't Tell era.

I Forgot To Tell You

In all the worry over Tim I forgot to tell you that Kevin, my current landlord, introduced me to the new landlord of the pub and flat the other day (Friday or Saturday, I can't remember which).
I had seen Kevin talking to a gorgeous shaven-headed guy outside the pub about a week ago and had thought to myself, wouldn't it be nice if he was the new landlord. I told myself not to be silly.
Lo-and-behold, who was the new landlord, this gorgeous, shaven-headed, tanned, semi-muscular, child of Italian parents in his late 20's. I was so shocked I didn't pay attention to what his name was (I was too busy taking notice of his smile and his muscular arms!).
He is almost certainly straight, I can't be that lucky to get a gorgeous gay landlord, but seems friendly enough. So, maybe, if he is straight, I can get him pissed one night and take advantage. Or, if he is gay, I can get him pissed one night and take advantage! Either way, I will probably HAVE to get him pissed first. He is lovely!

Tim - Further Update

I went to see Tim at the hospital again today. I really can't believe the rapid progress that he is making it is amazing.
I had to wait about 20 minutes for the visitors who were in there when I arrived to come out. It was Richard and Paul. They came out just after Tim's brother James and his friend Sarah arrived. Paul was quite upset, as this was the first time he'd been in to see Tim, as he cares a lot for Tim (as we all do) and because being in the ward reminded him of a time in his past.
I went in to see Tim on my own and, as soon as I got to the bed, he opened his eyes and said hello, asked how I was, was pleased to see me and we had a good conversation. He told me how he was embarrassed that everyone on Facebook now knows how stupid he was to climb up his building (and even more stupid to fall!), was grateful for all the visits and kind words and wishes, and how he was annoyed at having missed the whole weekend! He also said that he was really bored. I reminded him that he would be moving to another ward soon and he should be able to watch the new series of Torchwood which is starting tomorrow, so he is now looking forward to that.
After about 5 minutes though he tired and I could make out everything he was saying, then he went to sleep. After about a minute though he woke again, saw I was there and apologised for falling asleep. I told him not to be silly and to go back to sleep as he needs the rest.
I was beaming as I walked out of the ward. Each day is astounding me with how much he is recovering. Richard and Paul had gone to the pub, so I joined them as James and Sarah went in. They joined us at the pub a little while later and said that the head nurse had asked to pass the word around that they need to reduce the amount of visits as Tim isn't getting much rest, which he obviously needs. So I will not be visiting him until Wednesday now, he is having an operation on his leg on Tuesday anyway, so Wednesday seems like a good day to go back in.
James and Sarah had to drive back to Hereford tonight, but Richard, Paul and I stayed in the pub for a couple more. We left at about 19:00.

5th July

LGBT people born today:
1853 – Cecil Rhodes – South African Politician – Died 26th March 1902
1879 – Wanda Landowska – Polish / French Harpsichordist – Died 16th August 1959
1889 – Jean Cocteau – French Painter / Poet / Actor / Director / Choreographer / Author / Playwright / Boxing Manager – Died 11th October 1963
1904 – Sir Harold Acton – UK Author – Died 27th February 1994
1957 – Leo Ford – US Porn – Died 17th July 1991
1960 – Robert Wagenhoffer – US Figure Skater – Died 13th December 1999
1968 – Jillian Armenante – US Actress
1973 – Camilla Anderson – Danish Handball
1979 – Amelie Mauresmo – French Tennis

And those who died:
2007 – Kerwin Mathews – US Actor – Born 8th January 1926

Don't Look At Me, I Am Shy

Bo Dixon, who is an idol of millions because of his textbook bear look, great body and sex appeal, has apparently been unhappily surprised by the amount of attention and coverage his porn films and nude photo shoots have got. The muscular porn star, who has a marketing / IT management job to help pay the bills, was unaware that his image would be seem world wide, thinking that the gay porn business was just a small underground industry!! If that is truly what he thinks then he is certainly in the wrong job. I found the story at Gay Porn Times, check it out and make up your own mind how genuine he and the story are.

Tim Latest

I have not long been back from the hospital seeing how Tim was. I got there at around 12:30 just as his good friend Bonnie arrived. I'd met Bonnie once before and know how much Tim adores her, so it was good to see her. She even recognised me. Niall was already there, so I let Bonnie go in first and when Niall came out I went in.
He was looking much better, his progress is amazingly good. The nurses have had to bandage up his hands, making them look like little boxing gloves, to prevent him from taking out his tubes and oxygen mask. Yes, he is off the ventilator already and while I was there was changed from the mask to the 2-pronged tube up the nose (neither of which he likes).
He is very fidgety, and the nurse was constantly having to move the pulse detector clip from one ear to the other as he moved about. He is making the nurses work that is for sure.
Niall was telling us that at one point he was having an argument with the nurses, though this was almost certainly an exaggeration considering his lucidity when I saw him.
He opened is eyes a few times and was trying to say something when he was staring directly at me, though instead of saying "Alex" as I thought at the time, he could have been saying "my legs," as soon after the nurse gave him more painkillers for his fractured leg.
But considering how dire everyone was thinking the situation was on Thursday, we couldn't ask for better progress in such a short space of time.
Now, fingers crossed, it will just be a case of how quickly he recovers rather than if he recovers. I am concerned about how he will survive financially, though he almost certainly has insurance (he works freelance), and I think his dad is fairly well off, so I guess I shouldn't worry too much.

As you have probably guessed, I didn't get to Pride, but haven't really missed it. Normally I would have gone with Tim and Richard anyway, so there wasn't much difference, just less men and less of a crush. I went to the nearby pub and had a lovely lunch with Richard, Bonnie and two other really nice friends of Tim who I'd never met before.
I am probably going to go back to the hospital tomorrow, though that isn't for definite.

Oh, and I finally managed to get a hold of another of Tim's friends, Chris Casey, and was able to make him aware of what has gone on, albeit by Facebook messages and voicemail and not in person.

Plans

Today I am intending to go and see Tim at the hospital. I hope to get there at around midday, which is when visiting hours start. Niall said he would be there early too, and I will probably see Richard there. I don't intend to hang around for more than a couple of hours as there seems little point as he is still unconscious (as far as I'm aware), and even if he was awake I doubt he would be very lucid.
In a little while I am going to attempt to contact Chris Casey, who is a friend of Tim's that I have met several times. No one seems to have his number, but I think I have found where he works, so I will try that number again (there was no answer last night).
Other than that I have nothing planned. It is London Pride today and the weather looks fantastic, so it is a shame that we can't all be out there enjoying it, but unless I get a call from someone to say that I should go I am not really in the mood still (and all the people I would normally be spending the day with will be at the hospital anyway). As with most things at the moment: We Shall See!

4th July

LGBT people born today:
1845 – Edmonia Lewis – US Sculptor – Died 1911
1947 – Jacques Morali – French Music Producer – Died 15th November 1991
1977 – Julian Vincenzo – Hungarian Porn 1979 – Tijl Dauwe – Belgian Singer / Actor
1982 – Chase Evans – US Porn / Dancer
1982 – Hannah Harper – US Porn / Director

And those who died:
1962 – Alan L Hart – US Physician / Author – Born 4th October 1890
1982 – Terry Higgins – UK [after whom the Terrence Higgins Trust is named] – Born 1945
1983 – John Bodkin Adams – UK Serial Killer – Born 21st January 1899
1991 – Paul Broussard – US Hate Crime Victim – Born 1964
2008 – Thomas M Disch – US Author / Poet – Born 2nd February 1940

And once again we have another hate crime victim. Will it ever end. I have named 8 this month and it is only the 4th day. Please think about this and talk to your children, your friends, your work colleagues. If each person who reads this turns one person away from hate, think of the difference that will make.

Tim Update - Good News

I'm pleased to report that I have just had an update from Richard at the hospital to say that Tim has woken up a couple of times and has attempted to remove the tube from his throat. The doctors have had to re-sedate him to stop him doing this but it is great news that he has woken and that he is aware enough that the tubes are there and are uncomfortable enough that he wants them out.
I phoned Lynn to get confirmation that it was good news, which she did, and so I can relax slightly now. There is always the chance of complications, and if he does recover there could be disabilities, but things are looking so much better I feel like I can relax a bit now. I may even leave the flat, then again maybe I'll leave that for tomorrow.
Am considering Pride-ing again now tomorrow, but will make that decision in the morning. It depends what developments there are, how I feel and who else is going to be out.
But I now have a massive smile on my face that has been missing since Tim went home on Wednesday night.

Tim Update

I have spoken to Richard this afternoon and there is no real change in Tim's condition as yet, not that we were really expecting it. The doctors are reducing his sedatives to try and bring him around to find out the full extent of the damage. Richard was apparently slightly freaked when Tim's eyes were partially open, but I presume that is an unconscious act.
I finally managed to get in touch with Niall and gave him the bad news. He said that he would leave work immediately and head over to the hospital. I hope that there is no confrontation between him and Richard and that there is no embarrassment over Niall's "status" as Tim's boyfriend, considering he hadn't been mentioned beforehand.
Thanks Tim for making your private life so damn complicated. Now wake up so we can all have a go at you!!
Today I've also remembered another friend of ours, Paul, who should be informed and tried to phone him. He didn't answer however, so I had to leave a message for him to call me back. He and Tim used to be very close (I can't remember if it was a relationship or not, but very close). Neither I nor Tim see Paul very often now, formerly through him working when we are out, and now because Paul is unemployed and doesn't go out hardly at all. But he would definitely want to know, and want to go and see Tim. I hope that he phones soon.
I also received a call from my friend Dean in Australia, who met Tim quite a few times when he was living over here. He just wanted to make sure that I was okay, but the connection from Melbourne to here is never good and that topped with my emotions meant that I didn't talk to him for very long.
I feel like I should be at the hospital, but know that there are lots of people there anyway and there is nothing I could do really. I feel a bit useless at the moment.

3rd July

LGBT people born today:
1901 – Thelma Wood – US Sculptor – Died 10th December 1970
1931 – Andreas Burnier – Dutch Author – Died 18th September 2002
1951 – Michael Brown – UK Politician
1952 – Frans Bakker – Dutch Singer
1957 – Tommy Sexton – Canadian Comedian – Died 13th December 1993
1973 – Mathew Bose – UK Actor / Model

And those who died:
2000 – Arthur Warren – US Hate Crime Victim – Born 1974
2001 – Ivan Suchinski – Belarusian Hate Crime Victim – DOB unknown

It seems to be that July is the month of hate crimes [See my post of 1st July - http://hamsters-wheel.blogspot.com/2009/07/1st-july-part-2.html].

2nd July

A bit delayed:

LGBT people born today:
1906 – Richard Bruce Nugent – US Author / Painter – Died 27th May 1987
1920 – Donald Windham – US Author / Playwright
1936 – Rex Gildo – German Singer – Died 26th October 1999
1944 – Tim Kincaid – US Director / Producer / Screenwriter [aka Joe Gage]
1947 – Stephen Stucker – US Actor – Died 13th April 1986
1951 – Sylvia Rivera – US Activist – Died 19th February 2002
1959 – Erwin Olaf – Dutch Photographer
1969 – Hugo Peligro – Cuban Porn
1986 – Lindsay Lohan – US Actress / Singer

And those who died:
1934 – Ernst Rohm – Germany Nazi – Born 28th November 1887
1987 – Michael Bennett – US Dancer / Choreographer – Born 8th April 1943
1990 – Julio Rivera – US Hate Crime Victim – Born 1961
1998 – Tony de Vit – UK DJ – Born 12th September 1957

Tim - Update

Okay, so it looks like I will have time after all to keep you all informed about what is happening.

It all started on Wednesday night when I met up with Tim at the Duke of Wellington pub and then we went on to Rupert Street where we me Richard, who is Tim's ex, for Richard's birthday. A good laugh was had by all, but, as Tim had already had a couple of drinks with work colleagues by the time he joined me, and probably given the heat of the day too, he was starting to look drunk (with Tim you always see it in his eyes first). He had forgotten his key to get into his flat but had arranged for his flatmate to leave one under the bin outside.
Richard and I went on to Barcode for another drink before he headed on to Vauxhall. I stayed in Barcode for one more and then left. I wanted something to eat, but wasn't in the mood for queuing so subsequently went hungry.
As I was waiting for a bus, which was as elusive as an eatery without a queue, I got a phone call from Richard who was distraught. He said that Tim was in hospital after falling while trying to get into his flat.
Apparently Tim hadn't found the key and had climbed up 2 storey's and fallen when the guttering gave way. The neighbours had heard a thud and found him immediately luckily. He had fractured his left leg and the right side of his face and skull.
He was in a real state and so I went to a cash point and then hailed a cab to take me to King's College Hospital where Tim had been taken. The cab ride seemed to take ages.
When I got there I paid the driver and jumped out of the cab as Richard was standing outside crying. I feared the worst. Nothing had changed though since he had phoned me initially.
We waited in the hospital for a couple of hours while Tim was being assessed and scanned. We saw Tim go past on the bed back from his scan and he didn't look good, though who would in those circumstances?
Richard didn't want to go in to see Tim and I needed to make sure that someone would phone Richard should anything change, so I went in and spoke to someone. Tim's leg was already in plaster (the least of his worries), but his face was battered, with a black eye and a tube appeared to be going into his skull. I also thought that his septum was split and some of his teeth smashed, but couldn't be sure with all the dried blood and bruising.
Richard and I left at around 4:30 and walked back to his flat, he lives about a 10 minute walk away. Richard was still in a state and I found myself unable to express any emotion, I don't know if I was in shock or just being strong for Richard's sake.
As Richard was in no condition to do it, I phoned Tim's brother, James, and advised him of what had happened. I had a short nap, probably about 40 minutes, and then waited around until I could phone Tim's work to advise them. I spoke to Will Cohen, who I remember Tim had mentioned frequently and he said to keep him informed as they all cared about Tim. He seemed genuinely shocked too.
I then waited around for Richard to emerge from his room, I think he managed to get some sleep, and get ready so we could go back to the hospital. We did this at about 11:30. Tim looked better, but Richard was shocked again when he saw the right side of Tim's face, which bore all the marks. One of Tim's work colleagues arrived just as we did too, which was really touching. He looked like he was holding back tears as he left.
We hung around again until just before 13:00, there wasn't much we could do. As we popped in to see him just before we were leaving they advised us that they were prepping him to go into surgery to remove the blood clot on his brain and were told that the operation could take a few hours.
I decided at this point that Richard was "together" enough to be alone, and he said that he could get another friend of his, Mark, around. I needed to get home and changed as I had been in the same clothes, unwashed for 24 hours almost on one of the hottest days of the year.

At home I had a shower, packed a bag of stuff I might need when I went back to the hospital (most of which I didn't in the end), and managed to have a sleep for about an hour. I also phoned my sister to get an honest idea of what to expect. Lynn is a nurse, and has been since leaving college (so 20 years roughly), and she doesn't hold back. I knew that she would tell me the truth on Tim's chances. When I told her about the clot she said that that was bad and asked if I was preparing for the worst, which I guess I have been anyway. This just confirmed what I thought.
I also sent a message, via Facebook, to Niall to ask him to call me as I didn't know if anyone would have told him yet. It is a very awkward situation, of Tim's making, as he hadn't told Richard that he was seeing Niall, to protect Richard's feelings (unnecessarily if you ask me). I don't have Niall's phone number and he hadn't accepted my "friends invitation" on Facebook. I didn't want to tell him via a message what had happened, I wanted to tell him in person, but as yet he still hasn't phoned.

I hadn't meant to sleep so long as, now that I was making my way back to King's College Hospital, it was rush hour and most of the tube journey was hellish with the heat and the idiots who never wait for the next train even when they see a carriage is packed. At one point the driver tried to close the doors three times and couldn't as more and more people were holding the doors trying to cram themselves in. In the end he gave up and we sat there fuming for 15 minutes.

When I eventually got to the hospital Tim's dad, Terry, was there, he'd travelled from Wales. So I chatted with him and cleared up a few details for him. I think this was when he finally realised that Tim was gay, as he said to me "there are aspects of Tim's life that I knew nothing about!" I think he may have been told about Richard being Tim's ex-partner by the nurses. Tim was also out of surgery by the time I got there and looked more comfortable this time (it is hard to explain, "comfortable" is the wrong word but "better" didn't seem to cover it). He had also had half of his head shaved, which I thought he would be livid about. I considered taking a picture for his Gaydar profile when he recovers. If.
The surgery had involved taking out the blood clot, which they had managed, and also a portion of his skull to relieve pressure on the brain. The "skull-flap" will only be put back if his brain recovers quickly otherwise they will put a titanium plate in its place.

Richard was outside the ward when Terry and I came out for a break. His flat mate Kieran and Tim's brother James were with him. I was shocked by how similar Tim and James are, considering they are only half-brothers. It's not that they look identical, but in terms of mannerisms, dress sense and piercings etc. Kieran and James went in to see Tim, Richard couldn't face it this time.
The neurosurgeon had advised that it can take 2 days to come out of the sedation, which they are reducing slowly to see how Tim responds. So there seemed little point in everyone hanging around the hospital indefinitely, especially this early. Everyone agreed to leave.
Terry is staying in Tower Hill, because it is an area of London he sort-of knows, so I travelled back with him. Everyone else went back to Richard's, where James is staying.

I pottered around for an hour or so before laying down on my bed last night and dozing off around 21:30. Lynn phoned back at 23:00 to see what had happened and how I was. Other than that I slept the better part of 12 hours. I needed it.
I've had no updates yet today, which as far as I'm concerned is a good thing. I'm not expecting him to rouse yet, so any news this early would probably only be bad.

I called my date off for tonight. Gareth, for that is who it was with, was very understanding and is also a friend of Tim's (in fact he introduced us). I don't know why I was so secretive about his identity in the first place, especially considering how I have mentioned that I liked him before anyway.
As for London Pride tomorrow, I don't think any of us will be bothering. I have even told Francis that I may not be going to Torquay in 2 weeks, depending on what happens. We shall see.

Thanks for "listening."

A Brief Absence

I do not know if I am going to have time to blog over the next week or so. Last night a friend of mine who regular readers will know of, Tim, took a substantial fall and fractured his leg, cheekbone and skull. He is in surgery as I type having a blood clot removed from his brain and I will be heading back to the hospital in a couple of hours to see how the surgery went.
I have been awake for over 36 hours now and I don't think I could sleep if I tried. I wish, just for once that we did not have this heat to contend with on top of the stress. I have to travel by underground and overground trains to get to the hospital which on its own would be stressful enough coming up to rush hour.

Sorry to you all, but I will resume normal service when I am able.

Fun Fun Fun

Sun Sun Sun

After finally getting into the bathroom (it hadn't been occupied after all, someone had just left the light and extractor fan on, for how long I don't know), I had lunch and then went out and had a laze about in the sun down by Lakeside Terrace. It was surprisingly quiet there and so I had no qualms today about taking my top off. I had a nice secluded spot to one side which occasionally got a nice blast of wind to cool me down. The ducks were entertaining, if gang rape is your thing, there were 7 male mallards chasing around the pond after one lone female who did not want anything to do with any of them! It was strange to see also, that the ducks were very wary of the fish in the pond. Then again the big black fish were about the same size as the ducks.
At times I got bored with sunbathing, as I often do, so I occupied myself re-reading Tales of the City, a book I have read dozens of times and always find myself laughing out loud to. Unfortunately there was no eye candy to otherwise entertain me. But my tan is coming in nicely, or so my flatmate Jesse tells me.
I also asked Jesse about Virgin Active membership and she thinks it is about £60 a month, which is far more than I was expecting. So that, on top of the late start today is my excuse (not reason) for not going to enquire today about gum membership.

I got a text earlier from Richard telling me it was his birthday and that he would be in Soho for drinks later. It was great news as I felt like going out tonight anyway. Tim had previously told me he was busy, but later phoned to say that he would be out after all, so I am meeting him first before Richard joins us after having drinks with his work crowd first.

Oh, and I have arranged to have drinks on Friday with a certain gentleman from Facebook. I am not expecting anything, as we had a false start years ago, but who knows. And he seems to be doing most of the chasing, which isn't necessarily a good thing, as I can be put off by that (the whole, if-he-likes-me-then-there-must-be-something-wrong-with-him feeling that I always seem to get).

1st July [part 2]

LGBT people who died today:
1931 – John Gambril Nicholson – UK Poet / Teacher / Photographer – Born 6th October 1866
1943 – Willem Arondeus – Dutch Artist / Author / Nazi Resistance Fighter – Born 22nd August 1894
1999 – Gary Matson – US Hate Crime Victim – Born 1949
1999 – Winfield Mowder – US Hate Crime Victim – Born 1959
2001 – John Scott – Fijian Director General of Fijian Red Cross / Hate Crime Victim – Born 1948
2001 – Gregory Scrivener - ?? Hate Crime Victim – DOB unknown
2004 – Marlon Brando – US Actor – Born 3rd April 1924
2005 – Luther Vandross – US Singer – Born 20th April 1951

Today's death list is particularly notable by the two double murders (1999 & 2001) committed solely for the fact that the victims were gay:
Gary Matson & Winfield Mowder were murdered in the USA. They had been together for 14 years and had contributed greatly to their local community by founding a community garden to help feed the hungry, a children's natural science museum and an arboretum.
They were murdered by two white supremacist brothers simply because they were gay.

John Scott and Gregory Scrivener were a couple living in Fiji. John Scott was born there and had long been a member of the Fijian Red Cross and was an activist who fought to restore Fiji's overthrown 1997 constitution which had protected LGBT people. He and his partner were killed in an apparent homophobic attack, with possible political motives too.

People often say "why should you have a Gay Pride day? We don't have a Straight Pride!"
It is events like these two murders, which both took place within the last 10 years, that prove that we still have a long way to go and a lot to fight for and protest against.
Until everyone is accepted for who they are and not who they love, the colour of their skin, or the god they worship (or do not worship), then we all still have a lot of work to do. Until everyone has the same rights, we still have a lot of work to do. I am not a very political person, and I do very little for the community itself, but I have been told that I have made a difference in my life.

• I am now an openly gay person to my family, friends and to my work colleagues.
• I have helped other gay people to accept their sexuality themselves and to come out to friends and family.
• I have also changed the opinions of formerly homophobic people to be accepting and understanding.

All this I have achieved through just accepting who I am myself, and learning to be me.

Gay Pride is a way of showing that we are here, we are not abnormal, we are not diseased, we are not abhorrent. We are your sons and daughters, parents, cousins, work colleagues and friends. We are you.

1st July

LGBT people born today:
1804 – George Sand – French Author – Died 8th June 1876
1899 – Charles Laughton – UK / US Actor / Director – Died 15th December 1962
1925 – Farley Granger – US Actor
1926 – Hans Werner Henze – German Composer
1944 – David Norris – Irish Politician / Lecturer / Activist
1949 – Carry Slee – Dutch Author
1951 – Fred Schneider – US Singer
1963 – Roddy Bottum – US Singer / Musician
???? – Robin De Groot - Canadian Presenter / Designer
???? – Pietro Rosselli – Argentine Porn / Model

I Hate Flat Sharing

Can you believe it? I have just spent the last 2 hours updating some of my research information for the LGBT database that I am compiling, not realising that I had taken 2 hours. Once I had finished, thoroughly satisfied to have got through so much work, I decided that I really should have a shower and get out, only to find that, at 11:20 there is someone else in the shower. I am on holiday, so have an excuse, but these other guys who live here never seem to work normal hours, there is always someone getting in my way or annoying me somehow!!

Aaarrrrggghhhhh!

It doesn't help my mood that my boss woke me with a text at 07:00 this morning asking me to work. I said "No" and managed to do it politely too somehow.

Bored Again

Today has been one of the, if not THE hottest days of the year so far. I managed to spend about an hour and a half in the sun, trying to get a tan on my pasty white chest and to even out the tan on my feet (which have a strange dark brown pattern due to the straps of my sandals, not to lack of washing as some may think!!).
I am always very reticent to show my naked torso in public though, as it is rather shapeless. On my last set of 12 days off I declined to take my top off at all while lazing in the sun and began thinking that I should join a gym again, probably Virgin Active, just to get some definition back in my body, something it has lost over the last 10+ years since I last did any meaningful exercise (which in itself was only though work and dancing at clubs, the gym has never held any attraction for me other than ogling the unobtainable bodies therein).
My urge to join a gym was further cemented during a conversation with a guy on Gaydar, and with the knowledge that a certain guy on Facebook is a regular runner. Top this off with the narcissistic streak that a lot of gay men have, and the fact that a lot of the guys that I fancy obviously go to the gym frequently, then this leaves me with no real alternative other than to initiate a membership somewhere.
I am put off by the fact that I will feel like an idiot not knowing what to do at the gym, as when I had membership at Fitness First a few years back they never gave me a proper induction and most of the staff were very unapproachable. I also feel like a sad-case having no one to go the the gym with. But on the other hand, if I brave these feelings, I will have a new "hobby" to fill my time off, I will have more to discuss with other "gym bunnies" if I ever get chatting to one and with friends, and my confidence can only improve if I have a body I am proud of. Of course there is the fact that I will be healthier too, but that has never been a priority of mine.
I only wish that I could get some idea of what the monthly membership would be at Virgin Active before I go in, as it doesn't say on the website and I don't want to embarrass myself by asking and then realising that I can't afford it.
Oh well, as I don't know anyone who is a member I guess I don't have a choice but to go in and ask. I shall have to make that my task for tomorrow. I'm guessing that mid-morning, or mid-afternoon would be the quietest times to go in. I'll let you know how it goes.

30th June

LGBT people born today:
1908 - Gene Malin (aka Jean Malin) – US Drag Queen / Actor / Presenter – Died 10th August 1933
1921 – Gunvor Hofmo – Norwegian Author – Died 17th October 1995
1922 – Miron Bialoszewski – Polish Poet / Playwright / Author / Actor – Died 17th June 1983
1944 – Larry McKeon – US Politician – Died 13th May 2008
1956 – Paris Barclay – US Director / Screenwriter / Producer
1969 – Ben Patrick Johnson – US Actor / Model / Presenter / Activist / Article Writer 1983 – Patrick Wolf – UK Singer / Songwriter / Musician

And those who died:
1906 – Jean Lorrain – French Author / Poet – Born 29th August 1855
1934 - Karl Ernst – German Nazi – Born 1st September 1904
1934 – Edmund Heines – German Nazi – Born 21st July 1897

Pointless Meetings

I decided that I would attend the TUPE meeting for work today, despite saying on Saturday night that I wouldn't. I wish I hadn't bothered. Despite 9 of us turning up from work (out of a total of 14 possible people) we learned nothing new. None of us really cared about the life history of the company who are taking over our contract, and they couldn't tell us anything about the new requirements for when the client actually moves into their building. So, other than possibly fulfilling some legal requirement, there was actually nothing gained from this meeting at all.
Upon leaving, my boss, true to form, informs us that we are all going to the pub. The Shakespeare. It wasn't until we were right outside and I had said it for the fourth time that he realised that I was serious about not wanting a drink at this time of the morning. I left them in the pub while I have come upstairs to do a couple of chores before going out and enjoying the (still) marvelous weather.

29th June

LGBT people born today:
1956 – Robert Rodi – US Author / Playwright / Performance Artist / Comic Book Writer
1962 – Amanda Donahoe – UK Actress
1964 – Stedman Pearson – UK Singer [5 Star] / Dancer

And those who died:
1982 – Pierre Balmain – French Fashion Designer – Born 18th May 1914
1986 – Robert Drivas – US Actor / Director – Born 21st November 1938

Tanning. Dating? Writing!!!

Today was a much better day than yesterday, with everyone being able to get their designated breaks and everything getting done on time. It was still boring though. I managed to do lots of research for my LGBT database and I even managed to sit out in the sun (on one of the terraces) for about 20 minutes before the weather turned. One more day at work before my next off-stint.

Checking Facebook upon coming home tonight I finally have a reply from the guy who sent me the slightly cryptic message on Thursday. He was indeed going to ask me out for a drink, but had no internet access at work and had a work leaving do to go to. He didn't get my reply until he had returned from this. Oh well. I sent him a message telling him about me upcoming 12-more days off and that we should arrange something whenever he is free. Once again, we shall see what develops.

Oh, and I've had an idea for a script for me to write too. As with everything creative I do, it isn't 100% original, but hopefully I can turn it into something unique and interesting. I came up with the idea last night as I was trying to get to sleep, and had to sit up and write it all down before I forgot it (I'm glad that I did as I've only just remembered about it now!!). It will be based, at least partially on events that I have experienced, thus making it easier to write honestly. The characters will also be base on people that I know, though I will use some creative licencing.
If you know me and are worried, you may never know if I have included you. Knowing me, no one else will ever see this script, that is even hoping that I manage to finish this one!!!

28th June

LGBT people born today:
1893 – Florence Henri – US Photographer – Died 1982
1917 – Wim Sonneveld – Dutch Comedian / Actor / Singer / Director – Died 8th March 1974
1935 – John Inman – UK Actor – Died 8th March 2007
1942 – Jim Kolbe – US Politician
1942 – David Kopay – US American Footballer 1950 – Jorma Uotinen – Finnish Dancer / Singer / Choreographer
1959 – Brad Fraser – Canadian Playwright / Screenwriter / Columnist / Presenter
1967 – Thomas Lloyd – US Porn star
1970 – Mike White – US Author / Actor / Producer / screenwriter
1985 – Ataru Nakamura – Japanese Singer / Songwriter / Musician

And those who died:
1929 – Edward Carpenter – UK Poet / Philosopher / Activist / Author – Born 28th August 1844

27th June

LGBT people born today:
1956 – Ted Haggard – US Evangelist
1966 – Paul David – US Singer
1977 – Cyril Wong – Singapore Poet
1979 – Cazwell – US Rapper

And those who died:
1996 – Peter Adair – US Director / Artist – Born 22nd November 1943
2001 – Tove Jansson – Finnish Author [creator of the Moomins] – Born 9th August 1914

Another Sh*tty Day @ Work

Today has been crap. Being a weekend the air conditioning is turned off and it's been another lovely day outside, so it has been horrendous inside. On top of this the building manager was in, with a crew, working on the fire alarm systems. He started this just as I was beginning my first break and wanted to "borrow" one of the guards, so I had to forgo my break. The first round of testing went on for over an hour and a half, by which time it was way into when the guys lunch breaks were meant to begin. I got one of the guys to have 40 minutes (instead of the hour he was due) and the second just began his break when he was called to help with the second round of testing. When I queried if he was really needed as he was on his break I was told "that's why you get paid for your breaks!" Arsehole!
This time testing went on for 2 hours making lunches over 3 hours late. I made sure my guys had their full quota (and ate my lunch in the control room!). I eventually got a proper break at 17:00. 10 hours into my shift! I was dying to go to the loo! I cannot wait to get home now, have a shower and just relax. I am also much less inclined to give up my free time on Tuesday for this bloody TUPE meeting now as well!
Have I told you lately how much I hate working here? Well if I haven't it is because there hasn't been a word invented to describe how much I hate it!!! Well, not one that can be used in polite conversation anyway!

First Day Back - Again

I really like having 12 days off. Yes I was bored by the end of it as I had no one to spend the time with all the time, but the sheer fact that I wasn't at work made it nice. Today back at work I was bored after just a couple of hours. Not a good sign. We have no more information about transferring over to the new company, but they want us ALL to attend a meeting on Tuesday morning about the TUPE process. Quite how they expect ALL of us to attend is beyond me as someone has to man the fort! As it is some of the guys are staying on from their night shift (meaning an extra 5 hours at least on top of the 12 hour shift!). I am off that day, my first of my next 12 day holiday stint, and I really do not want to go, but my boss asked for a favour. As the meeting is just down the road from me (even closer than work), and the fact that others are giving more of themselves (the aforementioned night shift people), I begrudgingly agreed to attend. It better be worth it. None of us are getting paid for our time (except my boss who is working then anyway, so he gets time of work when everyone else has to give their own time freely!!!).
Anyway enough about that place, I have three more shifts (plus this meeting thing) and then I am off for a 12 day stint again, during which London Pride takes place. I shall have to start bullying people to ensure they attend.

One other thing has annoyed me today:
I had to delete my music selections as none of the songs would play due to "licencing laws" in my country apparently! How annoying. You would think that the bigger artist would be able to afford it and the smaller ones would appreciate the exposure! So I apologise to anyone who is missing my musical selections, I know I am!

I feel that I should say something poignant about the loss of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, but I will leave that to others who will speak more sincerely. Both were icons of the 70's, but both had good lives, so although my sympathy goes out to their families (as it does to anyone who loses someone they love), I feel no grief myself. The only thing I will say is that when I was in my one-and-only relationship with Graham, while I was living in Torquay, "our song" was "You Are Not Alone" by Michael, so I thank him for giving us that, at that time.

26th June

LGBT people born today:
1902 – Hugues Cuenod – Swiss Singer
1934 – Jeremy Wolfenden – UK Journalist / Spy – Died 28th December 1965
1951 – Lance Loud – US Reality TV star / Singer / Author / Journalist – Died 21st December 2001
1955 – Stephen McCauley – US Author
1967 – Mark Weigle – US Singer
1969 – Carlo Boszhard – Dutch Singer / Actor / Presenter
1976 – Adam Tremadoc – UK Porn Star

And those who died:
2005 – Kara Auchemann – Polish Activist – Born 4th April 1970

25th June

LGBT people born today:
1875 – Forrest Reid – UK Author / Literary Critic / Translator – Died 4th January 1947
1935 – Larry Kramer – US Playwright
1945 – Rictor Norton – US Historian
1952 – Al Parker – US Porn Star / Producer / Director – Died 17th August 1992
1961 – Brian Coleman – UK Politician
1963 – John Benjamin Hickey – US Actor
1963 – George Michael – UK Singer
1969 – Storm Large – US Reality TV star / Singer
1974 – Nisha Ganatra – Canadian Actress / Director / Producer
1984 – Bimbo Boy – Swedish Singer

Morning!

I woke up about half an hour ago with a splitting headache and it still hasn't gone. Maybe it's a delayed hangover from the weekend? I got up almost immediately as I really needed to go to the toilet (you know, first thing in the morning and you are bursting?). Typically though there was someone in the bathroom so I had to hold it for another 10 minutes, it was murder.
Just when I thought that the day was going to be total hell, I checked Facebook to find a slightly cryptic message from a (gorgeous) friend asking it I was free tonight. I don't normally go out on a work night, but I'll make an exception in his case. We shall see if anything develops!!

Everybody Needs Gorgeous Neighbours

I popped out to Tesco late this evening to get some essentials and while I was there I noticed that my gorgeous neighbour from across the road, the very muscular guy, was there too. This was the first time that I had ever seen him from any viewpoint other than my bedroom window. My first thought was that he was shorter than I'd thought, looking down from a first floor window is more distorting than I'd imagined. His face also didn't look as perfect as it had from a distance, though he was still handsome and sexy.
I had seen him at his window yesterday afternoon, just before I went out briefly. He had been stood there for a few seconds topless and I got a good view of his impressive abs. As soon as he noticed me though he had disappeared again.
Today in Tesco just confirmed that he wasn't interested at all. When I managed to catch his eye and smiled a "hello" at him he just turned away and then ignored me the whole time I was in the store. Shame. I still think he is a stunning man though and can almost guarantee that I won't stop looking!

Boring Day.... Mostly

I could not decide what to do when I got up today. I was tempted to go up to Hampstead Heath and laze about in the sun, and have the occasional wander through the undergrowth too, but the weather this morning wasn't as good as it was meant to be, so I discounted that idea pretty early on.
When I eventually got to use the shower (thanks to my housemates) and got my self presentable for the world it was almost midday, so I made myself some lunch and then decided to head on over to the library.
I sat outside at Lakeside Terrace for a while in the intermittent sun and marvelled that I see something new almost every time I sit there: first it was large orange fish in the larger pool, then black fish, then herons, yesterday there was a seagull feasting on one of the orange fish, and today I saw that there were smaller fish in the raised pond. I love it there.
After a while I went into the library and read a couple more chapters of Maybe the Moon, by Armistead Maupin (something I have been doing for a while, in between the book being booked out by normal library users). As usual I got cruised by one of the male librarians, who I must admit has a great arse, not a bad shaped back, and he's not bad looking either.

I then managed to catch the eye of a nice looking, smartly dressed guy as I was leaving the library and followed him into one of the lifts. We had a quick fumble and he led me to a secluded area in one of the lower floors of the centre where we had a bit of fun. He had a very impressive chest, so I guess that will have to do for my birthday wish of having a muscle man.

When I returned home I sat on the computer updating my LGBT database while listening to part 1 & 2 of the second Dr Who audio adventure, "Sword of Orion" from the set that Tim had given me for my birthday. I am enjoying them so far, except for one small detail: At the end of the first part of each story so far, when they are announcing who plays whom, they always give away part of the story line. In the first, "Storm Warning", they revealed the identity of the mystery passenger. Then in this second one, it was announced that Nicholas Briggs provided the voices of the Cybermen, when we hadn't learned yet who the "bad guys" were. That is the only fault I can find with them so far though. My best birthday present for ages (my only birthday present for ages too!).

24th June

LGBT people born today:
1937 – Allan H Spear – US Politician – Died 11th October 2008
1953 – Wick Ederveen – Dutch Actor / Director – Died 11th May 1994
1957 – Jose Smits – Dutch Politician
1965 – Vladimir Luxuria – Italian Actor / Presenter / Politician
1972 – Brendan Courtney – Irish Presenter / Comedian
1974 – Magnus Carlsson – Swedish Singer
1977 – Kristian Digby – UK Presenter / Director / Columnist

And those who died:
1976 – Minor White – US Photographer – Born 9th July 1908
1984 – Michel Foucault – French Philosopher / Historian – Born 15th October 1926
1991 – Sumner Locke Elliott – Australian / US Author – Born 17th October 1917
2005 - Walter Dempster Jr – Filipino Drag Queen / Conductor / Actor – Born 20th May 1922
2006 – Denise Denton – US University Chancellor – Born 27th August 1959

Changed My Mind

After deliberating for ages about what to wear for my evening out drinking (again), I got into town at around 19:45 had one drink in Rupert Street and came home again.
As soon as I got to Soho I realised that I wasn't in the right frame of mind to be drinking alone. I double checked with Tim to make sure he hadn't changed his mind about coming out for a drink (which he hadn't) and then got the bus home.
I was disappointed with the lack of people out tonight. I know it is a Tuesday, but I thought, what with it being a lovely day ALL day and being a lovely evening, that there would be tonnes of guys around. In fact the only ones who were around were hideous, camp queeny queens, which hastened my departure somewhat.
I have 2 more days off work and I really don't know what to do with them. I have had enough of my own company, I want the company of someone else. How pathetic does that sound?

Am I A Perfectionist?

I have just gone back to a post from yesterday and corrected some mistakes (a word in the wrong place caused by my over sensitive mouse pad on this lap top). If I hadn't corrected it no one would have cared and I'm sure that most who did read it barely noticed, but I knew it was there and felt I had to change it immediately.
I have done this several times before, sometimes with posts that are years old (how long have I been doing this blog??), so it was even more unlikely in those circumstances that anyone would see the corrected version, but because I knew it was wrong I had to change it.
I know I will carry on doing it too, but still feel that there are more important things that I should be worrying about.
Like what to do tonight?

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!

[I just did it again, as I hit the "Publish Post" button I noticed that I hadn't put a question mark in the Title box, so had to come back and correct it. How pathetic?]

What To Do?

I am having the same trouble that I had yesterday. I can't decide what to do. Do I go out into Soho for drinks, not knowing if anyone I know will be there? Do I got to Chariots in the hope that, this early in the week, there will be enough guys feeling as horny as I do to go there? Or do I stay in again with "my best friend?"
Considering that today has been an amazingly beautiful one, and I have spent a couple of hours out in the sun. I feel that I should enjoy it while it lasts and head on out to have a few more drinks in the last rays of the sun. But another part of me just wants to chill at home (although that would be SO much better with some hunky man to accompany me!!).
I think I will head into Soho and if it is too bad then come on home. I don't think it will be worth while heading to Chariots too late as it is early in the week. Maybe tomorrow though, if I am still feeling this horny, I will head on there around 16:00 and catch the guys going home from work. Maybe?

23rd June

LGBT people born today:
1894 – Alfred Kinsey – US Zoologist – Died 26th August 1956
1912 – Alan Turing – UK Mathematician / Cryptologist – Died 7th June 1954
1915 – Dennis Price – UK Actor – Died 6th October 1973
1926 – Kenneth Halliwell – UK Actor / Playwright – Died 9th August 1967
1976 - Ty Lattimore - USA Porn
1939 – Antonio Pombo – Spanish Poet / Author / Activist
1944 – Joao Silverio Trevisan – Brazilian Activist / Author
1961 – David Leavitt – US Author
1977 – Ji Wallace – Australian Trampolinist / Gymnast
???? - Steven Scarborough - US Porn / Director

And those who died:
2006 – Alim Mongoche – Cameroon Fashion Designer – Born 1975

Horny

I don't know why, but ever since I woke up this morning I have been feeling incredibly horny. It's probably linked to all my talk of wanting to "get it on" with a muscular man for my birthday, but I am feeling so frustrated at the moment that I am considering either going into town (for the third night running, which is unheard of with me), or going to Chariots without being drunk first (which is also highly unusual). The thing is though, I know that both with be a waste of time and money, because I have been horny all day, I know that, should I "get it on" then I probably won't be able to last long!!!
I think maybe tonight I shall have to settle for a date with my oldest and bestest friend. (If you can't work that out I'm not telling you!)

My Birthday Wish

22nd June

LGBT people born today:
1910 – Peter Pears – UK Singer – Died 3rd April 1986
1922 – Bill Blass – US Fashion Designer – Died 12th June 2002
1948 – Peter Prijdekker – Dutch Swimmer
1953 – Ian Levine – UK Songwriter / Producer / DJ
1961 – Jimmy Somerville – UK Singer
1968 – Kevin Aviance – US Fashion Designer / Musician / Female Impersonator
1971 – Martin Krafl – Czech Politician
1979 – Jai Rodriguez – US Presenter / Actor / Musician

And those who died:
1988 – Leonard Matlovich – US Soldier / Activist – Born 6th July 1943
2002 – Frank Ripploh – German Actor / Director / Author – Born 2nd September 1949
2005 – Clive Clerk – US Actor / Singer / Dancer / Activist - Born 1945

At A Loss

I'm at a bit of a loose end now that my birthday weekend has finished. I really don't know what to do with myself (well apart from the obvious). This morning I remembered that I had yet to go back to Moorfields Eye Hospital to pay for my prescription from nearly 2 weeks ago so I went there first. On the way back I noticed a Peacocks shop and popped in there to have a look. I ended up buying some knee-length blue-checked shorts (it'll make a change from the green ones I always wear around the flat). Then I went to Waitrose, just to get a bottle of water, I ended up getting half a weeks food shopping. So, where I had almost £40 left in my wallet from last night, I now have less than £10. Oh well. Surprisingly I'm still doing fine money-wise.
I am still disappointed that I didn't get my wish last night (to meet a muscular guy to complete my triumvirate of men for my birthday week!). I have a few more days off so who knows what (or who) could happen?

Actual Birthday Drinks

So, after my night out last night, I was in two minds as to whether I should go out today, my ACTUAL birthday, for drinks at all. Then, this afternoon, I got a text from Richard asking if I was still going out and, if so where. I decided there and then that I WOULD go out again.
I met Richard at the Duke of Wellington at 18:00 and we went to Rupert Street immediately as that is where Terry was with some friends of his. His friends turned out to be a guy who lives 2 floors up from where I live and his mad, Australian, choreographer shag that he had just met. It was hours before we managed to get rid of them!
After a few hours at Rupert Street, during which time we were joined by Tim and later Niall, we went back to the Duke until it closed.
My ambition, to get it on with a muscular guy tonight (after my last two night out were successful in getting me laid) turned out to be not so successful, but I had a good night anyway.
All I have to do now is make sure my last few days off are not wasted, as my off days usually are. Wish me luck.

21st June

LGBT people born today:
1905 – Jared French – US Artist – Died 1988
1935 – Peter Dudley – UK Actor – Died 20th October 1983
1955 – David Marshall Grant – US Actor / Playwright
1955 – Michael Kuhnen – German Neo-Nazi – Died 25th April 1991
1973 – Alyson Annan – Australian Field Hockey
1975 /1978 – Janos Volt - Hungarian Porn Star

And those who died:
1908 - Benedict Friedlander – German Sexologist / Sociologist / Physicist – Born – 8th July 1866
1983 – Owen Dodson – US Poet / Author / Playwright – Born 28th November 1914
2002 – Timothy Findley – Canadian Author / Playwright – Born 30th October 1930
2005 – Claude Green – US man denied medical attention – Born 1961
2008 – Kermit Love – US Puppeteer / Costume Designer / Actor – Born 7th August 1916

Another Good Night

Despite the earlier false start, and the umpteen changes of clothing brought on by the changeable weather, I eventually got out for some birthday drinks at around 18:00, starting off in the Duke of Wellington with Tim and a strange friend of his that I'd met once before (but whose name escapes me at this moment). We stayed there for about 3 drinks before Tim and I moved on to Rupert Street and then the Yard.
Totally unexpectedly, Tim had brought me a birthday card and a present (my one and only present) which was a box set of audio Dr Who stories. It has a total of 9 disks and so I shall be spending many an hour enjoying listening to these tales. I'm resisting the urge to put one on now!
Tim left to go home (or to meet Niall after his shift in the pub, I can't remember which) and I went on to Barcode (as usual). It was pretty uneventful in there, but I met a guy who I'd previously met there a few years back, named Marcus. We chatted and then he invited me back to his place.
It was nice because there was no expectation of sex, he just wanted to cuddle. As it turns out we just crashed almost as soon as we got into bed. In the morning though he really wanted to cuddle, A LOT! I found myself getting incredibly claustrophobic, as when he put his arms around me one of them would be up around my neck, not tight but along with the heat in the room, his body heat and the fact that he kept putting his thick duvet over us as well. I felt like I just wanted to get out of there. It was a shame really as he is a lovely guy, and on the face of it he was doing exactly what I would normally want, but it just didn't feel right, and, as I said, it felt incredibly restricting and uncomfortable. Luckily, he had a course to go to at 10:00 so we walked to the tube station together before saying goodbye.
I am annoyed at myself for not wanting to see him again, considering how much I go on about wanting a boyfriend and hating being alone, but I rationalise this by telling myself that "it" has to feel right, otherwise what is the point?

I am now debating whether to go out again tonight as originally intended. I have a headache still and I don't know if I can face more booze, but I know of at least one person who will be out if I go, so I want to get out again (and see if I can get some birthday muscle, just as a treat!). I think I probably will go out. If I'm not up to it when I get there I can always come home after a couple (like that will happen!).

20th June

LGBT people born today:
356BC – Alexander the Great – Macedonian warrior king – Died 10th June 323BC
1917 – Donald Vining – US Author / Playwright / Publisher – Died 24th January 1998
1939 – Jack Fritscher – Porn / Author / Journalist / Photographer / Director
1952 – Vikram Seth – Indian Poet / Author
1955 – E Lynn Harris – US Author
1962 – Ray Dragon – US Porn / Fashion Designer / Photographer / Director / Producer / Editor / Dancer / Actor 1969 – Peter Paige – US Actor / Director / Screenwriter

Pre-Birthday Blues

Am in a bit of a low mood today. What with my plans to watch rugby at Comptons being scuppered by the scourge of my life (technology) I didn't really have any other plans made for today. I was just hoping that I would watch the rugby, get chatting to some decent guys (like during the Six Nations), and then let the evening progress from there. It wasn't to be.
I did pop into town in the hopes that Comptons had fixed their satellite problem, or that the Duke of Wellington would be showing the match, but it wasn't to be.
After wandering around Forbidden Planet for a while, and not buying anything, I gave up and came home. Just as I was approaching the flat I got a call from Tim asking what my plans were. After some deliberating, and Tim saying he should only go out for one night out of tonight or tomorrow (which is fair enough), I decided that it should be tonight as it will be busier.
My birthday isn't until tomorrow, but hopefully (inevitably?) I shall be out until long after midnight, though I should really try hard to avoid Chariots as I want to go out tomorrow evening too! That will probably be my biggest challenge tonight, especially if I don't get the attention I am craving from a sexy stranger I meet tonight.
Now all I have to do is decide what to wear, which isn't as easy as it sounds because, once again, the weather is incredibly changeable today. Just after I'd finished talking to Tim and telling him that, despite it being a bit overcast and windy it wasn't cold, it began to rain and got a bit nippy. Now, as I look out of the window the sun is streaming in. It should be nice, considering that tomorrow is the first official day of summer, but this is England and there is nothing as unpredictable as the English weather.

A More Productive Day

I am feeling a lot happier with myself today as I have actually used my time quite well. I was up at around 09:00 this morning, though I didn't get into the shower until 10:30 (that wasn't entirely my fault as twice previously I went to have a shower and both time it was occupied, and in between I got distracted on the internet). I was out of the door soon after my shower though and down to the post office to send off 2 loads of comics that I'd sold on eBay and a birthday card to my niece (her birthday is a day after mine).
I then went on to do some shopping despite the deceptive weather. It was bright sunshine and fairly warm, but when the sun went behind clouds it was a bit chilly in the wind. My toes were freezing as I had sandals on (without socks - which should go without saying).
I headed straight for a small shop on Charing Cross Road that I had passed many times but never been in. It sells all sorts of bags and I spotted just what I wanted as I entered the door, and it was only £10.99. Bargain.
I then went to Orbital Comics and got 2 reference comics and a book that I have been meaning to buy for ages. The book, a Superman Encyclopedia, completes a set of three (along with those concerning Batman and Wonder Woman) and was also on sale, saving me £4.50.
I then popped to Burtons to see if I could find any nice tops that I may have missed when I went in there earlier in the week. I was overloaded with tops and had to make a decision on which ones to buy. I ended up taking 6, all t-shirts with 3-4 buttons down the front from the neck. All for £50.
I decided that I had been quite lucky with my bargains so far and not to push my luck so I got the bus home. On the way I stopped at Somerfield, which I have only just realised is within walking distance of home, is cheaper than Waitrose and has a better selection (and better hygiene) than Tesco. I think I will be shopping there more often.
When I got home, I cooked a healthy lunch and sat down to watch Neighbours and Home & Away.
Now, as it is coming up to the early evening I am beginning to think that I want to go out into Soho again tonight. I shouldn't, because I am planning to drink on Saturday and Sunday, but it is so tempting. I also don't know that anyone else is going to be out, so I should probably stay in and prepare myself for a hard-drinking birthday weekend. We shall see. If one person even hints that they will be out tonight I'm off!

19th June

LGBT people born today:
1566 – James I – English Monarch – Died 27th March 1625
1942 – Jos Brink – Dutch Actor / Author / Columnist – Died 17th August 2007
1960 – Marga Gomez – US Comedian / Actress / Playwright
1964 – Peter Rehwinkel – Dutch Politician
1977 – Rebecca Loos – UK Reality TV star / Model
1977 – Jason Tyler – US Porn Star

And those who died:
1312 – Piers Gaveston – English Earl and lover of Edward II – Born 1284
1955 – Adrienne Monnier – French Author / Publisher – Born 26th April 1892
1989 – Pat Parker – US Poet – Born 20th January 1944
1996 – Luis Caballero Holguin – Colombian Painter – Born 27th August 1943

Another Wasted Day

I am a bit angry at myself for wasting yet another day off. I have done absolutely nothing all day, spending much of the afternoon dozing in my room. I am only slightly annoyed though as I did have a good night out last night, but that is not a good enough excuse to waste the whole day, especially when there are things to do. Other than grocery shopping, I have some comics, that I sold on eBay, that need to be posted. I want to buy a new travel bag for my trip to Torquay next month, as my old one (which I bought about 18 years ago) is not even fit for the storage purpose I am now using it for. I am still on the look out for new clothes, particularly some tops and a pair of smart/casual trousers and new casual shoes. I shall have to make a concerted effort to get up early tomorrow and get some things done as over the weekend I hope to be too busy.
I am planning to go into Soho and watch the Lions Rugby match at 13:30 (if I can find out where it is being shown, now that Comptons is out of the picture as their satellite system is not working), after which I hope to stay out for some more drinks. And on Sunday I want to go out again, as that is my actual birthday, and hope to have a few friends join me for either or both event. Feel free to join us if you wish.

18th June

LGBT people born today:
1903 – Raymond Radiguet – French Author – Died 12th December 1923
1910 – John Menlove Edwards – UK Rock Climber – Died 2nd February 1958
1925 – Robert Arthur – US Actor – Died 1st October 2008
1971 – Nigel Owens – UK Rugby Referee
1973 – Skye Woods – US Porn Star

And those who died:
1935 – Rene Crevel – French Author – Born 10th August 1900
1974 – George Kelly – US Actor / Playwright – Born 16th January 1887
1982 – Djuna Barnes – US Author – Born 12th June 1892
1982 – John Cheever – US Author – Born 27th May 1912
1992 – Peter Allen – Australian Singer / Songwriter / Entertainer – Born 10th February 1944
1993 – Craig Rodwell – US Activist – Born 31st October 1940

Great Night

So, I decided to go out for a few drinks last night, to get my birthday weekend underway (slightly early I know but who cares). I was pleased that Tim agreed to join me for a couple of drinks before heading off to other appointments. I started off in Rupert Street on my own and saw that my ex, Graham, was there too, we had a brief conversation at the bar before he headed outside and I waited for Tim. Terry was about to so, when Tim had arrived and we'd got our drinks we headed outside to see that Terry was in a group outside with my ex! Small world! We stayed with that group until we'd finished our drinks and then headed off to the Duke of Wellington, where Terry had already headed off to.
Tim had to go then so after one more drink with the crowd we started off with, who had joined us once again, I went to Comptons. Not much was happening there, but the bar manager was giving me the eye. He normally ignores me of just says "hello" and that is it. Probably because we shagged once while we were really drunk. But today he was really eyeing me up. I was tempted as he is a sexy guy, but decided against it.
I then went to Barcode to finish the evening. I didn't talk to anyone most of the time I was in there, but then got chatting to a lovely guy from Utah and ended up going back to his hotel room. I didn't get to stay the night though as he had to call his girlfriend back as she had "sounded upset" on a message she had left him. I have his email address though, so I think we will keep in touch.
It was late, or should I say early, when I eventually got home, almost 04:00 and the sky was already starting to get light. I crashed almost immediately. Luckily this morning my headache isn't too bad!
I hope my weekend is as much fun.

Being a Good Neighbour?

I have just noticed that my gorgeous, Arab-looking, very muscular neighbour is locked out of his flat and is having to shelter from the rain in the entrance to the YMCA. I really would like to offer him some proper shelter and get him out of those wet clothes, does that make me a good neighbour or a bit of a letch?
Don't answer that!
I am off into Soho tonight, or at least that was the plan, but as I type this the rain is getting heavier and heavier, so I may change my mind. No one else is going to be out, as far as I'm aware, but I need some gayness as I am having withdrawal symptoms. Hopefully the rain will subside in the next 30 minutes. I was planning to head out around 19:00 so I have my fingers crossed for the downpour to abate.

Don't Look

Better

I spent a couple of hours on the computer last night, once Kevin had got it working for me, and by the time I went to bed I was much less stressed than I had been and my headache had almost gone. I had a great night's sleep, without waking once that I remember before 09:30 when noise from the traffic outside rose me from my slumber.
Now I am relaxed, but thinking what bedazzlement or bedevilment will today bring me? Who can tell?

16th June

LGBT people born today:
1955 – Simon Bailey – UK Priest / Author – Died 27th November 1995
1969 – Steve Kenson – US Author
1976 – Tom Lenk – US Actor / Singer / Playwright

1979 - Ty LeBeouf - US Porn Star And those who died:
1979 – Nicholas Ray – US Director – Born 7th August 1911
1984 – Drew Griffiths – UK Actor / Director / Author – Born 1950

Stressed

I cannot express how stressed I feel at this particular moment.
I was woken up at 04:30 this morning by the wireless internet router I have in my room (which feeds the whole flat). It was going crazy switching itself off then on, off then on every 20 seconds or so. I eventually managed to get back to sleep, but when I woke again at about 07:30 the router was showing a red light (meaning it wasn't working). I tried turning it off and on, turning it off again and waiting a while before turning it back on again, disconnecting and then reconnecting all the wires, all to no avail.
I had decided last night that, after wasting the whole day yesterday doing nothing, I would get out of the flat today and go and visit the Natural History Museum as I had been meaning to for a few years.
As I left the flat I informed Kevin about the internet and hoped that he would have it sorted by the time I returned.
I didn't enjoy the Museum as much as I thought I would (it hadn't changed much since I was last there about 7 years ago and actually seemed to have less there), so after purchasing one book on prehistoric animals, I left and came home.

When I got in the internet still wasn't sorted. Kevin was completely disinterested (saying he was too busy today, while he was sat outside in the sun smoking a cigarette!). I decided to go out and get some sun myself at Lakeside Terrace. I managed to take my mind off of things by watching the ducks, fish, water-boatmen and even a couple of gulls swooping over the pond in u-shape flight patterns trying to frighten a 3-foot tall heron away (they were only partially successful as it just flew to the other end of the pond).
When I returned to the flat a second time nothing had changed. I tried the same procedures again to no avail. After 18:00 Kevin came up to the flat with a new router and I thought everything would be fixed. He gave it to me to install via my laptop, as it needed to be done through a computer (god forbid you should actually be able to actually buy something and just switch it on nowadays!). I followed the instructions (though they made no sense to me - "locate the cable that connects your modem to your computer" - Erm, there isn't one because it is "W-I-R-E-L-E-S-S"). Despite following the instructions I just could not get all the icons on the router to light up and thus it would not connect. After trying about 15 times (I'm not exaggerating) I gave up, unplugged everything and took all the equipment, old and new, and dumped it on the dining room table. Someone else could do it.
Just as I was about to go to bed with a migraine, Kevin waltzes up to the flat at last and gets me to fetch all the new equipment back to my room, plugs it all in (exactly as I did) and it works!

How Fucking Frustrating!!

SO, I am now connected again to the internet and so will try and catch up on what I have missed today, though I am wired and do not know how to make the wireless feature work. I can't be bothered to go through the stressful process again today, so will leave it for the morning, and hopefully Kevin can do it himself then.
I think I will require more than one Kalm tablet tonight, just to take my mind off the stress. AND, I think I deserve to go out for a few drinks tomorrow night, though I am a bit reticent as I will have to drink alone, which is never fun, especially on a Wednesday night. Oh, well, we shall see.

Frustrated

I like to think that I am a considerate housemate: I always put my washing up in the dish washer (or at least in the sink to soak first), am the only one who deals with the recycling (often taking the non-recyclable stuff out of the recycling bag and putting it in the regular rubbish, and taking out the recyclable stuff from the regular rubbish and putting it in the recycling bag), always check the living room for stray washing up before putting the dish washer on, seem to be the only one who buys cleaning tabs for the washer (and formerly tea bags, sugar, soap, light bulbs, toilet roll), always emptying ashtrays (despite not smoking myself) and clearing away rubbish from the living room, etc etc etc. Why do I feel that I get nothing back from the other housemates?
I have been considerate again today, as I usually am on my days off. Despite getting up at around 09:00 I have waited until now to go to have a shower, as some of my housemates don't leave for work until 10:30 (Jessica usually being the last out) and I am not in any rush to get anywhere today. But despite that the shower is still being used. I really need to move. It always seems that whenever I need the shower or toilet then it is always being used by one of the other guys, or their guests. It's like Picadilly Circus in here sometimes.
I so miss living on my own, when I could have a bath when I wanted (here I can't even have a bath as the hot water tank only holds enough hot water to fill about 2 inches deep in the bath. I miss having baths!), use the kitchen when I want, watch the television when I want and what I want. I really need to know if the new owner is going to let us stay on or if I need to move immediately. Hopefully I will be able to wait until my debts are paid off (August probably now), and when I have a new job, so that I can take into consideration travelling times and routes. But, whatever and whenever I know that I do want (NEED) to move.

15th June

LGBT people born today:
1936 – Patricia Nell Warren – US Author
1949 – Simon Callow – UK Actor
1971 – Bif Naked – Canadian Singer / Musician / Actress
1973 – Neil Patrick Harris – US Actor
1982 – Stephen Funk – US Former Soldier

And those who died:
1979 – Les Benscoter – US Hate Crime Victim – Date of birth unknown

Neighbours

Given that the weather is great today, I was quite disappointed with the lack of gorgeous men out and about today. So, I shall have to be content with the sight I had this morning of one of my neighbours cleaning his windows topless.
Unfortunately for me, this man, who is good looking, has a nice athletic, slightly muscular frame and a nice smile, is going out with my flat mate Jessica. It is a fairly new thing, which caused me a slight amount of false hope a few weeks back, before I knew about their relationship.
I was looking out of my window, as I do quite a bit when I have nothing to do (which is most days!). I saw this handsome guy pull up on a bike on the other side of the road and he looked up at this flat. I though my luck was in and then his eyes moved away from my window and off to my right, he then waved at someone (I later found out that this was Jessica). I was incredibly disappointed, especially as I had thought about this guy quite a bit since I had seen him topless before (again cleaning his windows). He is very much the type of guy I could see myself settling down with (physically, I don't know about his personality as I haven't met him yet. If and when Jessica does bring him to the flat and introduce us I shall be extremely embarrassed!).
Because I now know he is unavailable I try to make an effort not to look over at his flat, despite the incredible temptation. And he isn't the only temptation across the road. In the flat next door to him live a gorgeous, very muscular, Arab-looking guy who is someone I could NOT see myself with as a couple, as I don't think we would be compatible even if he was gay, but who I fantasize about anyway! When I first noticed that he lived opposite me I saw him in his window topless a couple of times (it was only ever a glimpse as he keeps his curtains almost closed nearly all of the time). I'm almost certain that he know that I like him and assume that is why I never see his gorgeous chest any more. Oh well.
A good reason for not staring at either of these lovely guys opposite is because of who lives below the muscular guy. This guy, who I am almost certain is gay, is very much NOT my type, he is incredibly skinny, quite tall and has a fair amount of unkempt facial hair. I'm sure he is a nice guy (he gets more visitors than I do, but then again I don't get any!), but I don't like him to think I'm staring at him. Oh, one other feature of this guy that I should mention is that I frequently see him naked in his flat, and, despite the fact that he has a very large penis, I still do not want to stare at him!
As I have probably mentioned many times before, I also live next to a YMCA which, because of the gym it contains, has a fair amount of gorgeous, fit young guys milling around. So I also get to stare at these guys when I am stood at my window.
All these temptations, plus the fair amount of good-looking city types that also pass by window, and the fact that I love to people watch anyway, make the room that I have, and it's accompanying views bearable, despite the many other drawbacks that this "Flat From Hell" has.

Spend! Spend! Spend!

It is a beautiful day today and I woke up at around 08:00, slumbered and then rose about an hour later. After a few hours of pottering around I decided to get out and spend some of the money I have this month (a very rare occasion for me to have "spare" money!).
So, you can probably understand that I was incredibly disappointed that upon leaving the tube station at Tottenham Court Road, the first shop I wanted to go in was closed. After seeing a couple of other stores also closed as I walked along Oxford Street, I eventually figured out that it was because today is Sunday and this country, like many others, is a slave to a redundant religious system that forces everyone, even non-believers, to comply with their wishes and does not allow shops over a certain size to trade for more than a certain amount of hours on this "holiest of days." What a load of toss! It really pisses me off that my life is subject to the conditions of myth-believers, in this day and age. I have no problem if someone wants to believe whatever they want. But, when those beliefs affect me then I start getting annoyed. Anyway, that's the end of my rant. For now!
I didn't have to wait around for all the stores I wanted to start opening and serving (some open for an hour, for browsing, before they are allowed to serve anyone. Again, it's ridiculous!). I got a nice pair of jeans, some underwear and trainer socks in Next, but could not find a single top that I liked.
I also got a bunch of essential stuff in Superdrug, though I have just noticed that some of the stuff that I purchased was not charged to me at the offer price it was advertised under in the shop. I can't be bothered to go all the way back to the store now though and I saved about £9 anyway on what I did buy, and everything I got was on my list, so its not as if I bought something I wasn't intending to get, I just got more than I intended!
I popped into Forbidden Planet and managed to resist buying anything, which is good for me.

14th June

LGBT people born today:
1949 – Antony Sher – UK Actor / Author / Director / Painter
1955 – Paul O’Grady (Lily Savage) – UK Drag Queen / Comedian / Presenter / Actor
1956 – Sam Irvin – US Producer / Director
1961 – Boy George – UK Singer / DJ
1964 – Steve McDonagh – US Actor / Presenter
1976 – Alan Carr – UK Comedian / Presenter
1978 – Merijn Henfling – Dutch Magazine Editor

And those who died:
1989 – Christopher Bernau – US Actor – Born 2nd June 1940
2000 – Peter McWilliams – US Author – Born 5th August 1949
2002 – June Jordan – US Activist / Author / Poet / Teacher – Born 9th July 1936

If I have missed anyone off this list that you think should be here please let me know, with a link to a website with details, cheers.

13th June

LGBT people born today:
1846 – Rose Cleveland – Sister of US President Grover Cleveland – Died 22nd November 1918
1870 – Alexandru Bogdan-Pitesti – Romanian Poet – Died 1922
1938 – Lee Calvin Yeomans – US Playwright – Died 31st October 2001
1940 – Annemarie Grewel – Dutch Politician / Columnist – Died 27th February 1998
1950 – Nick Brown – UK Politician
1957 – Fred Butter – Dutch Actor / Singer / Dancer
1973 – Patrick Goodwin – US Musician
1978 – Brian Dowling – Irish Reality TV [Big Brother / Failty Towers] / Presenter


And those who died:
1984 – Antonio Variacoes – Portuguese Singer / Songwriter – Born 3rd December 1944
1997 – Al Berto – Portuguese Poet – Born 11th January 1948
2005 – David Diamond – US Composer – Born 9th July 1915

"Are You My Mummy?"

At Last

Despite today being accompanied by some small problems at work (2 burst water pipes on separate floors, for no apparent reason and the subsequent lack of water in the building for most of the day; And a contractor disabling the access control system on one door) and the subsequent extra work that this required, today was probably the least stressful day at work for a hell of a long time. I like being busy (not that even this work could be considered "being busy" but it's the closest this place gets!), and so prefer days like today than the non-eventful ones.

What also made the day better was that I managed to sell some more of my comics to one of my work colleagues. Okay, I didn't get a fantastic price for them, only £10, but some of the comics were only in good condition (rather than excellent as most of mine are). And £10 is £10. Not that I am skint this month at all, or shouldn't be. I have worked out that, barring emergencies, I can afford to spend £200 a week (including food etc), but have limited myself to £150, meaning that I should be left with money at the end of the month to subsidise July! I bet it doesn't work out that way, but at least my intentions are good.

I also managed to apply for another job today as a "Star Administrator". I don't know what the "star" bit refers to, but the job was decent money, was only asking for intermediate Word / Excell skill and seemed to be aimed at someone who wants to change to that employment sector. Ideal for me. It was also in the City of London, so I would not have to travel far (unless I eventually have to move from "The Flat From Hell" when Kevin sells).

I was in a fair mood all day, but as soon as I walked out of the front door when I had finished my shift a great big grin spread across my face as I am now off work for another 12 day stretch. I intend to do some retail therapy tomorrow, buying some much needed new clothing and essentials from Superdrug. Then the lead-up to my birthday will start with a couple of preparatory nights out before the big day on the 21st (though I might have my ACTUAL drinks on the night before as my birthday is on a Sunday it may put people off from attending [like there are going to be lots of people there!!!]).

12th June

LGBT people born today:
1858 – Henry Scott Tuke – UK Painter / Photographer – Died 13th March 1929
1892 – Djuna Barnes – US author – Died 18th June 1982
1906 – Sandro Penna – Italian Poet – Died 21st January 1977
1926 – Paul Lynde – US Actor / Comedian – Died 10th January 1982
1929 – Brigid Brophy – UK Author – Died 7th August 1995
1959 – Scott Thompson – Canadian Actor / Comedian / Author
1975 – Spencer Livermore – UK Politician
Year Unknown – York Powers – US Porn star
Year Unknown – Csaba Zsiros – Romanian or Hungarian Porn Star

And those who died:
1993 – Crawford Barton – Georgian / US Photographer – Born 2nd June 1943
2002 – Bill Blass – US Fashion Designer – Born 22nd June 1922

A Load of Krod?

I was feeling really tired at work today and so I was really grouchy with everyone. I just wanted to come back home and crawl back into bed for another couple of hours. My mood wasn't helped by the fact that my boss rolled in 30 minutes late (he was drinking last night) in a casual vertically striped shirt (which wasn't slimming on him in any way) and combat trousers (it's what he thinks passes as acceptable dress for a security manager!!), and preceded to tell me lots of his anecdotes that he has already shared many MANY times before. The day really dragged it's feet and I could not wait for the shift to end.

Tonight, since coming home I have watched Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, on BBC's iPlayer. It is a new sword and sorcery comedy, which started on BBC last night. Think Red Dwarf crossed with Conan. It wasn't brilliant, I wasn't hooked, but I think I will watch it again even if it is just for Matt Lucas' humour and, of course, Sean Maguire's body. He is a mighty fine looking man, who would have thought it all those years ago when he first appeared as a short-arsed eleven-year old in Grange Hill? I may be a fan of his body, but I'm certainly not a fan of his strange American accent. I know he has been working over in the States for a few years now, and good on him, but the accent sounded strange coming out of his mouth and was, frankly, a bit annoying.

11th June

LGBT people born today:
1877 – Renee Vivien – UK Poet – Died 18th November 1909
1943 – Barrie Stevens – UK Choreographer / Director / Singer / Actor
1946 – Jack Wrangler – US Porn Star – Died 7th April 2009 1963 – Gioia Bruno – Italian / USA Singer [Exposé]
1965 – Johnny Rahm – US Porn star – Died 7th November 2004
1966 – Mario Silva – Portugal / Canada Politician

And those who died:
2005 – Anne-Marie Alonzo – Canadian Playwright / Poet / Author / Publisher / Critic – Born 13th December 1951

Sorry

I have to apologise because, once again, I have nothing to report due to the fact that I am back at work and so do absolutely nothing all day to report on! Sorry. I hope that you enjoy these to make up for the fact:

10th June

LGBT people born today:
1911 – Terrence Rattigan – UK Playwright / Screenwriter – Died 30th November 1977
1957 – Sebastian Bleisch – German screenwriter / Director
1957 – Ronnie Burkett – Canadian puppeteer
1958 – Clemens Cornielje – Dutch Politician
1964 – Ben Daniels – UK Actor
1973 – Juan Jiminez – Spanish Porn star
1978 – Tim Rusty – US Porn Star
1981 – Rob Newton – UK Hurdler

And those who died:
323BC – Alexander the Great – Macedonian warrior king – Born 20th June 356BC
1958 – Angelina Weld Grimke – US Journalist / Poet – Born 27th February 1880
1973 – William Inge – US Author / Playwright – Born 3rd May 1913
1982 – Rainer Werner Fassbinder – Germany Director / Playwright / Composer / Actor – Born 31st May 1945

Facebook Faux Pas

I don't know how familiar you are with Facebook, but there is a function on it called your "status" that most of my friends use whereby you can tell people how you are feeling, or what you are doing "now." It provides your name and then you type after your name what you want to say. For example:
Alex Robins is bored!!!!
It then gives the option for your friends to comment on your status.

Well, today I my nephew Arron had written his status as:
"off to work!"
He then had a comment left by his cousin:
"work my arse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now, this is an innocent little jibe between cousins, unfortunately I read the comment before the status and, due to my obvious lack of understanding of the youth of today, their complete lack of understanding and usage of punctuation (not that mine is perfect), and, I admit, my depraved mind, I instantly thought it was a sexual comment.

It was meant as:
"Work? My arse!!!!!!!!!!" (as in "I don't believe you!"), and not "Work my arse!" (as in "F**k me bigboy!").

I was laughing for quite a few minutes when I eventually worked out the intended meaning.
Trust me, I don't think I am ever gonna be "down with the kids!" I never was when I was a kid, so I certainly won't be now as I get older (and older, and older, and older).

9th June

LGBT people born today:
1891 – Cole Porter – US Composer / Songwriter – Died 15th October 1964
1897 – AH Nijhoff-Wind – Dutch Author – Died 22nd May 1971
1911 – Bunny Roger – UK Fashion Designer – Died 27th April 1997
1942 – Ossie Clark – UK Fashion Designer – Died 6th August 1996
1951 – Benny Neyman – Dutch Singer – Died 7th February 2008
1956 – Patricia Cornwell – US Author
1960 – Eva Dahlgren – Swedish Singer
1986 – Adamo Ruggiero – Canadian Actor
Year unknown – Donavin Fitch – US Porn star

And those who died:
1952 – Alice Austen – US Photographer – Born 17th March 1866
1990 – Angus McBean – UK Photographer - Born 8th June 1904
2004 – Brian Williamson – Jamaican Activist / Hate Crime Victim – Born 4th September 1945

Eye Eye

I have just returned from my appointment at the hospital. What a waste of time! Granted I was only there for just over an hour, so it could have been a lot worse, but the doctor basically told me the same as my optician(s) had ..... I have a mark of some sort on my eye!! I knew that already!!!
Now he has to refer me to another doctor, a specialist (I thought that was who I had gone to see). It is really frustrating.
What is more frustrating is that the doctor that I did see was a bit over enthusiastic with the dye he put in my eye, so it ended up covering one side of my face as well and was all over my hand where I had tried to "mop" it up. It won't all come off with soap either, so I guess I will have to wait and hope it wears off quickly.
I was also embarrassed as I wasn't expecting to have to get a prescription today. The doctor prescribed eye drops and I had to explain, rather loudly through thick glass that I have no money at the moment as it is my payday tomorrow. Luckily I was told that I could come back another day to pay for it.
So, I still do not know what this thing on (in?) my eye is, or if it will cause any further problems (other than inconvenience, which it certainly seems intent on doing), and have to wait for another letter TELLING ME when my next appointment is going to be (apparently I don't get a choice this time!). Let's just hope that I am off work at the time.

Hospital

As I mentioned in the last post I have to go to the hospital tomorrow. It is nothing serious, luckily, at least it shouldn't be. It all came about from when I was going to the opticians a lot a couple of months back. One of the opticians discovered something that looked like a scar on my left eye and so asked me to leave my lenses out for a week, which I did (and hated doing as I loathe wearing my glasses). When I went back a different optician thought it was a dent in the eye. After returning a couple more times, while trying new types of lenses, it didn't improve so she suggested I make an appointment with my G.P. to get a referral to see an eye specialist at the hospital. Well, that is what I did and the appointment is tomorrow.
Luckily the hospital is within walking distance so I won't have to worry about getting there and back. I will almost certainly have to wear my glasses home though as the doctor is bound to put some sort of drops in my eyes. Good job that I am not going out tomorrow then isn't it? I will, of course, let you know what happens. I'm sure that it will turn out to be nothing, and hey, it's something to do (yes, I am that bored that even a trip to the hospital seems exciting!) and there may even be some gorgeous doctors, nurses or even patients there too! Who knows?

Beardy Me - Do You Like?

Okay, so I got impatient and realised that I wouldn't have time tomorrow to smarten up the "beard" before I had to pop to the hospital (more on that later), so I trimmed up the facial hair this evening and thought I would share the difference with you.
Here, showing the full extent that I can grow facial hair in a week, is before:And here is the trimmed up version of "beardy" me:

Personally, I don't think I will be keeping it, for a few reasons:

1. I was never really into beards anyway.
2. I don't think I can be bothered with the trimming (I get annoyed enough at having to do my hair once a month, let alone trimming my face every week, along with shaving around it all!).
3. I don't think I can face the stick I would get from my work colleagues, especially my boss.

So, I think the idea will be to shave it all off before work on Wednesday morning, but I will live with it for tonight and tomorrow. You never know, I may change my mind!! But I doubt it!

Oh and by-the-by, please excuse the puffy eyes, but I didn't get much sleep again last night. And the double chin? Well that's just down to bad eating and no exercise (I was gonna come up with some other lame excuse but who would've believed me?).

Sexy Guy on Sex & the City: The Movie

I watched most of Sex & the City: The Movie last night for the first time, quite by accident as my flatmates were watching it in the living room. It was a pretty uneventful film, just like an extended episode but without the usual gorgeous, but unknown actor getting f****d by Samantha (which I always found to be the best part of the show).

The nearest this film came was with Samantha's next door neighbour having sex ALL the time. Now he WAS worth watching. Gilles Marini is a French actor and former soldier, fireman, baker and model (what a combination, eh?) and he has a magnificently sexy body. I heard about him when the SATC film first came out and saw the (edited) clip of him in the shower, but other than that I thought nothing of him. Then I saw him a couple of times when I caught Dancing With The Stars, and I though then that he was good looking, but not really my type. Since watching the film, I can now see the attraction. He is a man who looks much better OUT of his clothes. I normally prefer a bit left to the imagination, but he just looks fantastic totally naked. I do wonder though, Hollywood being what it is, was that his real penis in the (unedited) shower scene. I would certainly like to find out, though I think his wife might have something to say about that!! Pity!

Experimentation

I am trying something new at the moment. I have consciously decided not to shave since last Tuesday morning, probably the longest I have ever gone without shaving. The reason I haven't tried it before is because my "beard" is very slow growing and quite patchy, so when I have let it grow before, and tried to trim it into a neater appearance it has never quite worked.
I am surprised that it isn't irritating me much, and am also surprised that I have managed to get it to a longer length than the hair on top of my head (though that isn't saying much as my hair is always quite short). It is growing unevenly though and there are pronounced hairs and patches of hairs that are obviously longer than the rest, and some are, shall we say, "a different colour" to the rest!! I'll let you work that one out.
I will trim the "beard" down tomorrow (and try and remember to take before and after pictures) and see what I can make of it. I can't see me keeping it, but I thought I'd try it out just this once. We shall see how I get on.

8th June

LGBT people born today:
1860 – Edward Perry Warren – US Art Collector / Author – Died 28th December 1928
1904 – Angus McBean – UK Photographer – Died 9th June 1990
1923 – Malcolm Boyd – US Author / Minister / Activist
1945 – Donna Deitch – US Director
1983 – Kim Stolz – US Reality TV star [America's Next Top Model] / Model / Presenter

And those who died:
1986 – Elsa Gidlow – US Poet – Born 29th December 1898
1988 – Russell Harty – UK Presenter – Born 5th September 1934

Parkour

I was just cruising through my favourite blogs when I came across this on Just Beautiful Men:


I've always been a fan of parkour and it always amazes me that the human body is capable of these feats of agility and athleticism. Most amazing in this clip, for me, is the guy doing the series of handsprings, nothing extraordinary there, but he is doing them one handed, first with one hand and then the other. Amazing.

7th June

LGBT people born today:
1916 – Patrick Trevor-Roper – UK Surgeon / Activist – Died 22nd April 2004
1924 – Edward Field – US Poet / Author
1956 – Robert Dover – US Equestrian
1959 – Tracey Adams – US Porn Star
1964 – Dave White – US Author / Music & Film Critic
1966 – Mark Ravenhill – UK Playwright

And those who died:
1954 – Alan Turing – UK Mathematician / Cryptologist – Born 23rd June 1912
1970 – EM Forster – UK Author – Born 1st January 1879

Tired & Bored

I couldn't sleep properly last night, I guess I was still in night shift mode. I kept dozing off and then waking at each little noise, and it wasn't just my flatmate in the room next door with his television going all night (and I mean ALL night, it was still going this morning at 06:00!!), it was every noise that was rousing me.
I think I eventually dropped off for a couple of hours sleep and was woken by the thunder storm this morning at around 06:00 (hence the reason I know his telly was still going!). The storm was directly overhead and, because I love storms, I opened my blinds and lay in bed waiting for the next lightning strike. Unfortunately the storm didn't last long and, the sky being light now at 06:00, wasn't that good to watch. Oh well.
I had set my alarm for 10:00 so that I didn't sleep through the whole of today, but when it went off I just turned it off and went back to dozing for another couple of hours as I was so knackered. I eventually got up about a minute before midday. It doesn't matter I suppose as I have absolutely nothing to do today anyway.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

I wish I didn't have to wait until Wednesday for payday!

6th June

LGBT people born today:
1869 – Siegfried Wagner – German Composer – Died 4th August 1930
1894 – Violet Trefusis – UK Author – Died 1st March 1972
1949 – Holly Near – US Singer / Actress / Author
1954 – Harvey Fierstein – US Actor / Playwright
1955 – Sandra Bernhard – US Singer / Actress / Comedian
1959 – Marcel Musters – Dutch Actor / Singer
1965 – Mark Lund – US Author / Presenter
1970 – JC Adams – US Author / Editor / Journalist
1981 – TJ Jourian – Lebanon / Armenia / Cyprus – Reality TV [Transgeneration] / Activist
???? – Antonio Rico – US Porn Star -

And those who died:
1993 – James Bridges – US Screenwriter / Director – Born 3rd February 1936

Days Off = Skint, Typical

So, my four days off hasn't started out how I wanted it to. I had planned to head on into Soho this afternoon to watch the England vs Argentina rugby match in Comptons. Unfortunately my lack of funds put pay to that (it is payday on Wednesday, my first day back at work, what good is that, eh?). So instead I watched the match in the solitude of the living room. It wasn't quite the atmosphere I was hoping for and even the cat abandoned me for the duration of the match. But we won, so that was something.
I worked out while working last night that it would be my last night shift for 44 days as I have, quite by chance, booked off the next 2 sets of night shifts. Result. At least I should be able to get back into a decent sleep routine for a while and who knows, I may even find a new job by then and never have to work nights again, EVER!! Wouldn't that be nice?

Sagat

Today one of the most iconic modern porn stars is celebrating his 30th birthday. Francois Sagat is the beautifully proportioned, stunning looking, instantly recognisable French god of porn. So I though I would send him my best wishes and let you enjoy some of the safer pictures of him that I could find.

5th June

LGBT people born today:
1883 – John Maynard Keynes – UK Economist / Mathematician – Died 21st April 1946
1898 – Federico Garcia Lorca – Spanish Poet / Musician / Director / Playwright / Murder Victim – Died 19th August 1936
1928 – Tony Richardson – UK Director / Producer – Died 14th November 1991
1940 – David Brudnoy – US Presenter – Died 9th December 2004
1951 – Suze Orman – US Author / Presenter
1951 – Lluis Pasqual – Spanish Theatre Director
1964 – Lisa Cholodenko – US Author / Director
1968 – Michael MacLennan – Canadian Playwright / Screenwriter / Producer
1974 – Chad Allen – US Actor / Activist
1979 – Francois Sagat – French Porn Star / Model

And those who have died:
1887 – Hans von Marees – German Painter – Born 24th December 1837
1979 – Terry Knudsen – US Hate Crime Victim – Born ?
1991 – Larry Kert – US Actor / Singer / Dancer – Born 5th December 1930

Lost Appetite

Well, night shifts have done it to me again. I have completely lost my appetite. While I was off for my 12 days I ate healthily and had 2-3 regular meals each day. I felt great.
Now that I have worked one set of days and am in the middle of a set of nights my appetite has gone completely. I don't feel like eating, but I force myself to do so.
On day shifts I have 1 hour- and 2 half-hour long breaks, while on nights I have 4 half-hour breaks (along with numerous other half-hours when I have nothing to do). I fit my eating into these breaks, but it is almost always forced. I feel like I have to eat during these times as otherwise I may feel hungry when I am unable to eat. Sometimes I eat during these breaks just because it is something to do (as there is nothing else to do, whether I am on my break or not!).

I do not trust the hygiene of the fridge at work, or the trustworthiness of my colleagues or others who have access to the area, to leave any food there so I have to take food in that will not spoil while it is in my locker. This leave just junk food really. Sandwiches, crisps, biscuits, sweets etc.
I don't take fruit in because I am incredibly fussy about what I like and how I like it (i.e. banana's have to be the right temperature and softness before I will even entertain eating them. I can't eat them the same day as I buy them from the shop! Weird I know, but I can't help it). During the day I could get freshly cooked food that is relatively healthy from various shop hereabouts (at least on weekdays), but it is all so expensive, being the city I guess they expect everyone to be on great wages.
Then, when I get home from work I am too tired to cook anything (from lack of stimuli, not hard work). So I end up eating junk there too (microwave rice, pizzas, etc). This morning when I got in from work I forced myself to eat some cereal, but I really did not want it. I also cooked some chicken Kiev with microwave rice for a late lunch this afternoon, but wasn't really hungry when I ate it.
Now my stomach feels bloated from all the crap that I am eating and I won't even mention what is happening in the toilet department!!!! (Sorry).
I am really going to have to come up with alternate foods to bring into work if I am going to be forced to continue to work here. I just wish I wasn't so fussy with my food.

I need to stop working nights. It's bad for me.

Strip! It's Hot