I Tried

I should not be surprised, but I am disappointed. I really tried to get excited about the prospect of having my first date in about a year, but I couldn't. The only tingling I did experience was that on my top lip which heralded the appearance of a coldsore!
I met up with Jacques, as arranged, at 19:00 in Rupert Street and we chatted for a couple of hours. I realise that I probably used the coldsore as an excuse not to kiss him properly, and even after he said he didn't care I still avoided the full on kiss because I really wasn't that into him. He is a gorgeous guy, and I enjoyed his company, but there just was no spark. I really would like to keep in touch with him, and told him as much, but I don't think that it will happen given his reaction.
While he was there, there seemed to be so many other attractive guys around, but after he left they all seemed to disappear, or lose interest.
I think I am destined to be alone surviving on meaningless sexual encounters when all I really crave is a good person to love and care for me.
I had one drink after Jacques left and then came home in a depressed mood. Oscar, my new landlord was in the living room and I was so tempted to try and seduce him into giving up his cock, but, luckily, resisted the temptation.