Dream Guy

I had a lovely dream last night in which I was really getting on well, in a friendship way, with Todd Lasance (from Home & Away). I imagine it was because I was thinking about him the other day. In the dream, as I say, we were getting on really well and I wasn't expecting anything else, but he encouraged me to take things further. Just as we began to "get it on" I woke up! How f***ing annoying! I got back to sleep pretty quickly, but I didn't get back into that dream again! Shame.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Natalie Barney - US poet - Born 1876, Died 1972
Adam Bouska - US photographer - 25
Brent Corrigan - US porn star - 22
Inka Grings - German footballer - 30
Napoleon Lapathiotis - Greek poet - Born 1888, Died 1944
Ethel Waters - US singer and actress - Born 1896, Died 1977
Bruce Bawer - US literary critic, author and poet - 52

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The weather has certainly turned over the last few days. I told you about the snow we had the other night, well apparently it is the first time it has snowed enough to settle in October in the UK since the 1930's!!! Today was really cold too. I was totally unprepared for it at work, especially when I had to man the loading bay for nearly 5 hours. We are stationed inside, but have to sit at the top of a ramp in front of an open shutter. The wind blows a gale up through the small opening directly at the area we have to sit. After nearly 2 hours I had a lunch break, so I went home and picked up my gloves and put on a pair of joggers under my trousers to keep my legs warm. It worked too, at least for the first 2 hours I was back at work, but then the cold began to get at me once again. It was even cold at the reception desk, but nowhere near as bad as in the loading bay. Another day there tomorrow, but I shouldn't be on the loading bay position as much if I am on the line I am rostered for. Fingers crossed.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:

Louise Abbema - French painter and designer - Born 1853, Died 1927

Arthur Dong - US film maker - 55

Rex Harrington - Canadian ballet dancer - 46

Claude Janiak - Swiss politician - 60

Jack Plotnick - US actor (voice of Xandir in Drawn Together, among other things) - 40

P Craig Russell - US comic book artist - 57

Should I Be Paranoid?

I've had two people, so far, ask if they can borrow my face for Halloween! [Thanks Lynn and Mike!] Should I be paranoid?

Wasted

Today is the last of my 3 days off, back to work tomorrow, and I have totally wasted the day after I worked out that I had spent this weeks budget so I thought better of going out anywhere as I would only spend more money. I stayed in and, inevitably, became lethargic and lay down on my bed. I woke up about 2 hours later and it was getting dark. So, nothing at all achieved today, except watching Neighbours and Home & Away (including the previews of tomorrows shows as I will miss them due to being at work!). Sad eh?

I think also that I may be having a mid-life crisis of sorts. I keep seeing young guys on the telly that I am finding incredibly attractive, only to become disappointed to discover that I am old enough to be their father! To show the type of guys I will mention a few:

Mitch Hewer - playing Danny in new UK television series (and cheap High School Musical / Fame rip-off) Britannia High. Mitch has played gay before, in Skins, but I hardly ever watched this show and never really noticed him in it. But in the one episode of Britannia High I really noticed him as he is good looking and had good arms, for his age. I guess he is the type of guy I would have liked to have met (or been) at his age! I wanted to be a dancer when I was a kid, but my mum wouldn't let me having dancing lessons! Unfortunately, Mitch is only 19! Far too young for me at just 19!

Thomas Knight is even younger, at 15, and not really my type at all, but there is something about him that I find intriguing and have done since I first saw him playing Luke in The Sarah Jane Adventures. I was surprised to find out exactly how young he was, as he appears older. But I think he could be a guy to watch out for in the future!

Liam Hemsworth is another, though I'm not exactly sure how old he is. Liam is the younger brother of Aussie hottie Chris Hemsworth who is 25, so I guess it could be alright to fancy him. He is currently playing Josh in Neighbours. (Hmmn, can't get the image out of my head now, a Hemsworth sandwich with me as the filling!)

Another couple of, not-as-young-as-they-play guys that I like are Home & Away actors Lincoln Lewis and Todd Lasance. Both play school age kids but Lincoln is 21 and Todd 23. Both are great lookers with good bodies, Todd's being more muscular and having incredibly kissable lips!

Of course my "obsession" with these "younguns" hasn't stopped me lusting after the older guys too. Conrad Coleby and Luke Jacobz both catch my eye regularly on Home & Away and would certainly like to see more of both.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT birthdays, and it appears to be "ladies day":
Nicole Conn - US director, producer and screenwriter - 49
Karin Giphart - Dutch author, poet and singer - 40
Ann-Marie MacDonald - Canadian author, playwright, director, presenter and actress - 50

Cold Shock

I have just had a bit of a surprise when I pulled the blinds aside, wiped the condensation off of the window and looked outside for the first time in about 3 hours. I saw the car parked opposite and the awning of the Chinese restaurant next to it had a fairly thick layer of snow on them! Wha..Huh? I'd been out earlier and sat in Soho Square eating my lunch. Now it wasn't warm by any stretch but I never expected to see snow today! Wow! I'm sort of glad that I didn't go out for drinks tonight after all, although the company would have been nice as I am feeling the beginnings of a down period (though it may just be the thought of going back to work on Thurdsay!).

Where I really want to be ......

.............. in some strong arms.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Francis Bacon - Irish painter - Born 1909, Died 1992
Andy Bey - US musician - 69
Walter Capiau - Belgian presenter and politician - 71
Derek Hartley - US presenter - 39
Florence Klotz - US costume designer - Born 1920, Died 2006
Anna Elizabeth Klumpke - US painter - Born 1856, Died 1942
Karl Lange - German / US man imprisoned by the Nazis for homosexuality - 93
Peter van der Voorst - Dutch producer, presenter and columnist - 37
Fran Winant - US poet, painter and activist - 65

Incredible? Not Quite

As promised I watched The Incredible Hulk film last night and, despite hating the last Hulk film this one was actually not bad. Not "incredible" but worth watching, especially for fans. There were a few nice touches, especially early on with a television clip of Bill Bixby, who played Bruce Banner in the Incredible Hulk television series. Lou Feringo, who played the Hulk in that series was also in a cameo role, as was Stan Lee, the co-creator of the character. Both were also in cameo roles in the last Hulk film. I was also geeked out to recognise the music from the tv series which is very mournful.
There was some humour in the film too, with Bruce Banner in Brazil trying to warn some antagonists not to make him angry, but not having a full grasp of the Portuguese language it came out as "You wouldn't like me when I'm ..... hungry!"
Lou Feringo's character shook hands with Ed Norton (playing Banner) saying "God bless you brother!" indicating they were "brothers" for both playing the Hulk.
And, while on the run, Dr Ross (Betty played by Liv Tyler) buys some clothes for Banner, including some bright purple stretchable-waist trousers (pants), a nod to the fact that the comic book Hulk always seemed to be wearing purple trousers! Banner rejected them, I can't think why.

SPOILER ALERT!!

And it was good to see a special guest star in the final scene, linking to the final scene of Iron Man and hinting at a follow up movie to both.

Strictly

I have managed to watch both episodes of Strictly Come Dancing this week without hassle and without the internet cutting out, which is good news especially for my stress levels.
Dancing first this week were Lisa and Brendan doing a paso doble. I was really impressed with the dance, both looked amazing and form and performance and were brilliantly in synch. Unfortunately the judges didn't entirely agree, but this could be merely because they were first up and the judges didn't want to peak too soon.
Andrew and Ola came next dancing Vienese Waltz. I found the dance boring as there was not much variety but he surprisingly didn't make too many mistakes.
Christine and Matthew also danced a paso and for a change Christine did not smile once, unfortunately this focus meant that she wasn't focused enough on the actual dance. I think it was her worst dance so far.
Austin and Erin performed a sweet dance with great variety and romance.
Cherie and James's dance was a disaster from the off and I'm not just talking about his new beard-thingie. Cherie went wrong immediately and this affected her throughout the whole dance. It was messy and I was cringing throughout it.
Heather seemed to lack confidence in her waltz with Brian, understandably so after the last two weeks, but I think it was probably her best dance so far.
Mark and Hayley's paso was another cringeworthy effort. I like Mark so much and I want him to do well, but he just cannot dance with those long long limbs. It was car crash television.
Tom and Camilla performed a really difficult and intricate waltz and pulled it off admirably.
John and Kristina's paso was hilarious with John marching through most of it, but as with Christine he didn't smile once, which was again a change for him.
Rachel and Vincent's waltz was sweet and really romantic and very varied with good pace.
Lastly, Jodie and Ian performed a paso which I hated as it looked so messy. Her dress was amazing though.

In the results show I was really impressed with the mambo show dance performed by Brian and Kristina. It was intricate and fast and amazing to watch.
I was happy to see Darren performing (with Lilia, Flavia and Vincent) while Enrique Iglesias sang, as I have really missed seeing his smile on the show since he was knocked out.
At the end of the show Mark Foster was out and I think, despite wanting to see more of his body, that it was the right choice. To end the show, he took off his top and showed off his amazing physique anyway, so that was one good result.
Next week all the couples will be performing different dances, I don't remember them doing that before. Should be good.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Desiderius Erasmus - Dutch theologian - Born 1465 or 1466, Died 1536
Glen Murray - Canadian politician - 57
Brian Pockar - Canadian figure skater - Born 1959, Died 1992

Iron Man

I finally got around to seeing Iron Man the other day, borrowed from a work colleague (the one who doesn't stop talking). I had not been in any hurry to see the film, as I thought I may be disappointed as I was with the Spider-Man films, but it turns out that it is a really good film. Robert Downey Jr would not have been my first choice to play Tony Stark (despite his sympathetic addictive personality), he probably wouldn't even have been on the list, but he was great. The story worked, sort of, the only anomaly was how he managed to manufacture the initial armour without his captors realising? The effects were really good too.
I loved the humour of the film, especially when he first tried out his revamped armours boot jets and flew into the wall. I was howling with laughter. I have now borrowed the Incredible Hulk from my work collegaue as well and I've been told that's not bad either.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Karin Boye - Swedish poet and author - Born 1900, Died 1941
Ben Brantley - US theatre critic - 54
Anthony Rapp - US actor - 37
Keith Strickland - US musician - 55
Holly Woodlawn - Puerto Rican drag artist - 62

Loooooooooooooooong Night

I managed to survive the 14 hour shift last night, but I really wouldn't like to do it too often. I did find it funny that, when the relief guard turned up in the morning he was an hour and a half early as he hadn't reset the time on his mobile phone. He was actually aiming to get to work for 07:00 and would have been half an hour late (typical for a relief guard), the "poor" man had to wait around for his shift to actually start. I was so pleased to leave at the end of it.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Aiden Bay - Mexican singer - 28
Claude Cahun - French photographer - Born 1894, Died 1954
David Furnish - Canadian film maker - 46
Fritz Haarmann - German serial killer - Born 1879, Died 1925
Fenton Johnson - US author - 55
Buddy Jones - Canadian porn star - Year of birth unknown
David McReynolds - US politician - 79
CJ Madison - US porn star - 37
Muffin Spencer-Devlin - US golfer and actress - 55

Long Night Ahead

I am really not looking forward to tonight's shift. As normal, for a Saturday night, I would be working 13 hours instead of the normal 12 as the Sunday shift starts an hour later due to the limited public transport on Sunday mornings. But tonight is when the clocks go back an hour meaning that my 13 hour shift becomes a 14 hour one. I will just have to make sure that I keep myself busy!

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Paula Gunn Allen - US poet, literary critic, Activist and author - Born 1939, Died 2008
Neal Blewett - Australian politician - 75
Van Darkholme - US porn star - year of birth unknown
Emma Donoghue - Irish playwright - 39
Moss Hart - US playwright and director - Born 1904, Died 1961
Ronnie Kray - UK criminal - Born 1933, Died 1995
Damon Phoenix - US porn star - 24
Renee Pornero - Austrian porn star - 29
Mathilde Santing - Dutch singer - 50
Tila Tequila - US model and singer - 27
B D Wong - US singer, actor and dancer - 48

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Jean Acker - US actress - Born 1893, Died 1978
Augusten Burroughs - US author - 43
Bella Darvi - French actress - Born 1928, Died 1971
Ned Rorem - US composer and diarist - 85
Paul Rudolph - US architect - Born 1918, Died 1997
Lilyan Tashman - US actress - Born 1899, Died 1934
Cole Tucker - US porn star - 55
Matthew Williamson - UK fashion designer - 37

A Bit Better

Today at work I felt a bot better, but this was probably only due to the fact that it was warmer today so my oncoming cold wasn't made worse by sitting in the loading bay in front of a constant breeze for 4 hours!!
My manager has given up asking if I am feeling happier and is just talking to me normally now (although he does insist on calling me "son" which I hate coming from anyone, but especially from someone 6 years younger than me!!). He also keeps insisting that I will need a boss in whatever new job I go for and that he would be the ideal person! I don't think I could ever work for him again, he is just not manager material!
I have three night shifts from tomorrow, lets hope that there are no road works planned for outside my bedroom window like last week!

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Bill Condon - US actor, director, producer and screenwriter - 53
Lord Alfred Douglas - UK author and poet - Born 1870, Died 1945
Delmas Howe - US artist - 73
Sir Derek Jacobi CBE - UK actor and director - 70
DJ Keoki - El Salvadorian / US club DJ - 42
Robert Long - Dutch singer and presenter - Born 1943, Died 2006
Robert Rauschenberg - US artist - Born 1925, Died 2008
Mark Shaiman - US composer - 49

Work

My third shift of the new batch went pretty much as the other two did, with me feeling like I really didn't want to be there. Not being able to sleep through the nights isn't helping either.
I have hardly talked to anyone this week, I just can't be bothered, My manager keeps asking if I'm still miserable and my stock reply is getting to be:
"I'm still here aren't I!" I think he is getting paranoid.
He actually surprised everyone today, by spending most of the day in his suit (rather than combat trousers and short-sleeved shirt undone to the cleavage!). He even stayed late - well later than the rest of the guard force anyway.
I have one more day shift and three night shifts before I get three days off. I am so looking forward to those days.

Birthdays

Today's LGBT birthdays:
Trev Broudy - US actor and hate crime victim - 40
Saffron Burrows - UK actress and activist - 36
Fred Hersch - US musician - 53
Lord Peter Mandelson - UK politician [who keeps messing up and Labour keep bringing him back] - 55

Frustration and Irony

I am laying here in bed unable to sleep, which I find ironic as while I was at work yesterday I found it difficult to keep my eyes open. I have 2 hours until I have to get up to go to work and I really could do with the rest, unfortunately sleep eludes me. I can also feel the beginnings of a cold grabbing hold of my lungs and depression setting in once more too.
I am also finding irony in the fact that ever since I had a conversation with my doctor about coming off of my anti-depressant medication, that I have been feeling down. It is frustrating as up until that point I had been feeling pretty close to fantastic. It didn't help when my wages were messed up again, but that mistake had been almost rectified by a payment going into my account yesterday, although again I have been charged a higher rate of tax due to it being an interim payment. I just can't seem to catch a break lately.
I really hate my job at the moment, more than normally. My boss asked me what the matter was yesterday, not through any concern, but because I wasn't joining in with his racist rants and childish behaviour (he was upset because the mobile supervisor had sat in his chair!! As a result, he has placed plastic barriers around his desk! Pathetic!). I just could not be bothered to humour him yesterday and so kept quiet, which was a struggle as I just wanted to rant at him and tell him how pathetic he seemed. He even suggested that I let him know when I get another job as I "will need a boss there too!" As if I would work for him again. He is useless. Another thing he was ranting about yesterday was the state of the relief guard who worked over the weekend: he had been stood in the control room with his outdoor coat and woolly hat on, even while the mobile supervisor had been on site. A genuine concern for the appearance of the guarding force, but coming from my manager who refuses to wear uniform himself with the zeal of a child refusing to wear his school uniform it is, dare I say it again, pathetic. He was sat there at his desk saying this while dressed in combat trousers,boots and a white shirt undone to his cleavage! I expect my managers to lead by example.
And as for his racist rantings! He has been accused of being racist many times by the two security firms I have worked with him in at this site. The accusations have been made because of the amount of black and Asian guards he had thrown off site for various reasons. Almost all of these guards have been pretty darn useless and have been rejected for legitimate reasons, but his racist rants do not help his case. But, to be honest, 99% of the guards we are sent are black or Asian and, because the rate of pay is among the lowest in the company, are the lowest motivated guards. Therefore we get guards coming in late all the time, for which we, the regular guards have to make up the time (often not getting paid for it), they sleep on duty on purpose, and turn up looking scruffy and not in the correct uniform (not always their fault). We also have silly rules on this site. For example, in the control room regular guards now have limited Internet access, bit relief guards don't. Despite this they are still not allowed to bring in their laptops to help keep them alert and awake! I would have thought that anything that kept the guards from sleeping would be embraced, but obviously not.
I really need out of this place it is doing my head in!
Anyway, enough of the ranting. I am now going to see if I can get some sleep in the hour and a half I have left before I have to get up for my fabulous job!

Birthdays

Today's LGBT Birthdays:
Kyle Bradford - US porn star - 33
Bruno Diaz - Porn star - Year of birth unknown
Edward Douglas-Scott-Montagu, 3rd Baron Montagu of Beaulieu - UK politician - 82
Allan Horsfall - UK activist - 81
Bo Summers - US porn star - 44 date unsure
Hans Warren - Dutch poet and author - Born 1921, Died 2001

What I Wanted To See Last Night