Frustration

I had a really bad day at work today. Initially, I knew it was going to be bad as I only managed to get around 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night what with my cough that is still persisting. That, on top of me hating the job anyway, made for a sort of dread in the pit of my stomach on my way into work.
As usual absolutely nothing happened at work. I was busy trying NOT to fall asleep in the control room or on the reception desk. In the mid afternoon, while walking around the reception area trying not to fall asleep, I received a phone call from Lee. I wouldn't normally take a call while on reception, but the building manager was off and I was bored so I accepted the call.
Lee told me that he wanted to invite me to his new place for a weekend sometime in February, as he has now moved in. This initially filled me with dread, I'll explain why in a moment.
We chatted for a bit, with me not tying myself down to saying yes or no, or when if I did accept. Then, what do you know, the one time that I do take a call in reception we get a bloody visitor. I would have continued chatting with Lee as I was bored, but the senior guard came up to the reception to escort this visitor so I had to hang up (this guy is a serious jobs-worth who should really be looking at his own performance rather than that of others, he is useless!). So, after hanging up I was bored again for the rest of the afternoon.
I am so frustrated there. I know I can do something a lot more challenging than walking around in circles for 45 minutes twice a day I just don't seem to be able to find the right job to be able to do that. I was so fed up, almost to the point of tears, that I was really tempted to just walk out of there and not go back. I wish I could afford to.

The reason I am hesitant to accept Lee's invitation is that I really do not feel 100% comfortable in his company any more. This is a real shame as he was, formerly, probably the closest friend I have ever had. But after all the polava with his on-again-off-again ex Leigh, I really can't be bothered to put more time and effort into the friendship when I think I will only get messed around by them both again. I have this aweful feeling that if I did go to Lee's, Leigh would "unexpectedly" pop around while I was there, so that we could "clear the air." I think the time is way passed to mend any bridges with that ar**h*le! I'd rather bury him under one!
So, I sent Lee an email today explaining that I probably won't have the time to go and visit him as I only get every third weekend off and so I would probably be meeting up with Tim over that time. It was a bit blunt, but I really do not want to be forced into doing something I don't feel comfortable with. I've done that far too many times in the past.

This evening I received a call from Tim wondering if I was out drinking at all as he had just finished work (at 20:00) and wanted a drink before going home. I'm working tomorrow, so I had to decline. He called me again when he was at Barcode as he thought he had been rude to me during our previous conversation, which he hadn't been at all. We chatted for a bit before tentatively arranging to meet next weekend when I am off. I wish I could have gone out tonight, but I can't drink on a work night any more, not at my age!