Bumper Stickers, luv 'em.

I found this site and was laughing for ages.
My favourites are:-
1) "I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me." (just because its true!)
2) "Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them." (true again)
3) "You're just jealous becaause the voices only talk to me." (sadly this is true too)
4) "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." (Sadly I've found out this is true!)
5) "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.....not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car!"
And the best, because it applies to work..

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."