What Is Wrong With Me?

As I mentioned in my drunken posting late last night, I met a guy named Jacques (or Jack as he first introduced himself) while I was out after watching the England Six Nations match. He is not exactly the type of guy that I have been looking for, as I was hoping to snag a guy my age, or older, with a larger build than me, and someone who looks like he could take care of me. Instead I have met someone who is 10 years younger, slightly shorter and of a slightly smaller build than me (though more toned, probably something to do with the fact that he trains with the Kings Cross Steelers), and looking like he needs someone to take care of him.
Am I looking for an escape route already, when we haven't even had a proper first date yet? Probably, but that is how my f**cked up mind works. If I never get close to someone then they cannot hurt me. What my brain doesn't factor into the equation is that, if I never meet anyone then I am still going to be hurt!
I am going to confirm when and where we are to meet on Wednesday and take the meeting as it happens. If I cannot accept someone so young as a potential boyfriend, then hopefully I will have met someone to be friends with, as I have a serious lack of friends that I am able to spend time with.
Before I started chatting with Jacques yesterday I was thinking of taking the embarrassingly desperate act of contacting all of my gay friends and asking them to please introduce me to some of their gay friends, in the hope that I may hit it off with one (or more of them), as a friend or something more. Most of the people I know in London are through Tim, and I am grateful to him, but I do not feel the same connection of friendship with any of them (except Richard) that I do with him.
Let's just see where Wednesday takes me and let's hope that I don't throw something potentially great away before I give it a shot!