"One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on..
Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot'
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon.. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. 'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.' Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. 'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around.
Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'
Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.' 'I have mine too,'
Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
It got me to thinking about how ignorant I, we all, can be when we are feeling down. We can feel as if no one cares. All we need to do it think about all those people who do care and who do think about us. They may not be around all the time, but they are still there. Even those who have died are still there with us in our memories and etched into our personalities are traits from these people who we cared about and who cared about us. We take the best of them with us.
Here are the people I care about most and some reasons why I care about them:
My Mum: Because only since she died have I realised all that she sacrificed for her children and grandchildren. Because, despite her faults or maybe because of them, she was still the strongest person I have ever met.
My Dad: For bringing me into the world, even though sometimes I wish I hadn't been. For being such a good role model that he helped to strengthen my mum, my sisters and my brother to help them cope after he was gone.
Lynn: For providing a great example to me and to her children, of hard work, honesty, a caring nature and common sense. For expertly yet unwittingly taking up the mantle of family matriarch when my mum died. For raising four wonderful caring children in a difficult world.
Maxine: For coming through her troubled teens and emerging eventually as a strong woman who cares passionately about her family and friends. For raising a wonderful daughter sometimes on her own.
Kevin: For taking care of me when he was a teenager, because, while mum was working there wasn't always anyone else to do it. And for fighting for his country for which all the family is immensely proud of him.
Mikala: For learning not to make the same mistakes as her mother and for being a wonderful mother to 3 beautiful girls. For making me feel loved when I see her.
Arron: For making making me feel cool again when he was a young teenager, as he was into a lot of the same stuff I still am into. For not being embarrassed to hug me when he sees me still.
Joe: For being an amazingly caring and generous guy.
Connor: For his sporting aptitude.
Molly: For her loving and enthusiastic personality.
Adrian: For making my sister happy and for being such a good role model to his kids and to me.
Abigail: For her inquisitive and talkative nature which is infectious.
Jacquie: For making my brother happy at last and for helping to raise my beautiful niece.
Lee: For finally making my sister happy again. For bringing his family and hers together to make a greater whole.
Courtney, Keleigh & Hannah: For giving me 3 more reasons for my continued existence, to help see them reach their full potential.
Craig: For sharing his friends with me and allowing me to stay over so often. For encouraging and enabling me to become my own person finally.
Alexis: For being my substitute big brother, teacher and friend, and for allowing me to share his home when I didn't feel that I had one. For still being there when I need advise and a shoulder to cry on.
Francis: For being a great friend and providing me with advice and support when I need it.
Tim: For providing me with great company. For making me feel less like a geek. For providing my life with a bit of excitement. For introducing me to new friends.
Dean: For being an exciting and energetic personality that is much needed in my life. For always being honest with me, no matter what. For his encouragement and enthusiasm.
Richard: For being exciting and excitable. For not being afraid to show emotions and for giving me something to focus on when I needed it.
Mike: For his constant interest and support, in and out of work. For helping me become as much "one of the lads" as I am ever going to become.
Gab: For being a caring individual and the best friend I've never met!
There are many other people I could include here who have provided me with great examples in my life, and I am sorry if I have neglected to mention you here. And, strangely, thank you also to the people who provided me bad examples, showing me how NOT to live my life (especially you Bill! You are one person who showed me many things that I never EVER want to be!).
Love Alex
1 comment:
You are very specail. Thank you for being who you are.
Ray
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