Great Day

I had a really good day yesterday. I had a bit of lay in before getting ready and heading over to see Tim for the first time in about 6 weeks. It was really good to see him and catch up and he looked really well. He should be back to work in a couple of weeks which is really fantastic. Hopefully all goes well with that. We had a good chat about Dr Who, which I can't have with anyone else. I also borrowed some more Dr Who audio adventures after returning the ones I borrowed ages ago.
I got back home at about 17:30 and had no intentions of going out that evening as I was feeling really tired. By 19:00 I was really bored and so decided that I did indeed want to go out and so got ready to go into town. I got to Comptons at about 20:20 and it was busy, but not too busy which was good, and surprising for a Friday night.
I thought that the night might turn out badly when I saw my former friend Lee walk past with his arsehole mate Leigh, and their drug-dealer. I was so pleased that they walked past instead of coming in. I moved on to the Duke of Wellington and saw that there were some very nice looking guys out, which is always an encouragement to stay out when I am on my own.
I then moved on to Rupert Street and it was packed. I squeezed my way through the crowded bar and found a space in which I could be comfortable, and only slightly jostled. I briefly said hello to Chris Casey, and then I saw Alfredo. I had been thinking about him for a while now, wondering how exactly we had lost contact. I had actually missed his company, he is so easy to get on with.
When there was space to move I made my way over to him and we chatted really easily as always. We were joined by some friends of his, one of whom knew Chris too so we had a good crowd. One of the guys, John (I think), lives just around the corner from me in Old Street and I had hoped to get his number to go for drinks, but he disappeared somewhere.
Alfredo and I went on to Barcode for one drink before heading back to his. I really hadn't thought of sleeping with him, and luckily we were so tired that we just slept.
I woke up at around 08:00 and immediately began to feel claustrophobic. The bed was located so that the side that I was on was surrounded by 3 walls and he was on the other side (blocking my exit so-to-speak). I think that this may just be an artificial phobia that I have developed to cover up for the fact that I am scared to get close to a guy. It has happened three times now, when I have been in bed with a guy. When Alfredo woke up he wanted sex (and I didn't particularly) but I gave in, as I do love kissing him and he has a nice body (all of it!). He managed to finish, I didn't. It looks like I am going to wreck this again, almost immediately. Maybe I should tell him that I just want to be friends. I am such a loser sometimes, always self-destructing. We shall see what I am going to do, that's assuming that he does call me.