The History Boys

On a whim last night, even though I should have gone to bed hours beforehand because I was still feeling ill, I decided to watch The History Boys on BBC iPlayer. I'd heard good reports about the film, and the play that it is adapted from, but had up to them missed watching it somehow.
I am so glad that I have now seen it as it is a fantastic film with fantastic performances from all the main cast. I so wish that I had seen it in the theatre with the original cast too. If it comes around again, and I can find some non-Philistine friends to go with, I am definitely going to see it at the theatre.
I tend to believe that the best films are the ones that make you laugh AND cry, sometimes in the same scene. That is what life is all about, enjoying yourself while you can because the bad times are plenty enough that if you don't enjoy yourself sometimes it will just engulf you, a feeling I have felt all too many times in my life.
I only have one criticism of the film, though I am sure Alan Bennett had his reasons. There were three characters in the film who are gay, all of whom are teachers (at some point), and all of whom either think about, plan to or do touch their pupils. I guess that Bennett was trying to portray the pederastic relationships that are so often depicted in literature (if I was better educated then I would be able to give you some decent examples of these myself), but it still feels like this film could be used to "bash" the gay community with.
It also left me wondering if anyone out there actually liked Dakin? Yes he was a pretty boy and redeemed himself with his chat with the headmaster, but other than that he was just too full of himself. Personally out of the boys, if I had been Posner, Scripps would have been the object of my affections, ignoring the religion thing!


Despite enjoying the film tremendously, it also depressed me. I have been thinking a lot lately about how I wish that I had gone to college and then perhaps university. I feel that I missed out on my full potential and that now it is too late. I know it is never too late to go back to education, people do it in their 90's. I had trouble with studying when I was at school, so how will I cope now? I was quite good at the learning and the coursework, but when it came to homework I was terrible. I needed the structure of the classroom and the reassurance of a teacher to prevent me from getting distracted and to answer questions if I had them. If I went back to education now, I could only (barely) afford to do, and only be able to do, a distance learning course because of the hours that I work (I would never be able to commit to, say, a Thursday night course as I would probably miss 2 or three of them per month with the shifts that I work).
On top of that I really do not know what I want to study. How do I decided what to study when I don't know exactly what field I want to get into? And what courses and qualifications are the most accepted? Which ones are a waste of time? I never had any help with this sort of thing when I was at school so how can I make these decisions now.
At the moment all I know is that almost every job that sounds interesting to me either wants 2+ years of experience, or wants you to be a graduate! I have got to the stage now where I actually hate that word, "graduate", and I detest / envy anyone who is actually one. Pathetic eh? I really need to sort my life out and make some decisions.

Oh, I did manage to find a job to apply for yesterday. It didn't ask for graduates, which is surprising as it was for an banking company, is local and pays from £6K more than I am getting at the moment and is bound to be Monday to Friday with less than 12 hours a day. Going on my recent application history, i.e. the last 2 years, I will never hear back from the company. The only ones I ever hear from lately are security jobs that I have never even applied for!