Confidence

I don't know why, but I just began to think about all the positive steps I have taken in my life to boost my confidence. I was always a shy child, I still am a fairly shy adult, but certain things that I have done, that a lot of people take for granted, have given me massive boosts in confidence. These are the major ones:

• As a child, all through school I let my parents decide what style to have my hair in and what clothes to wear. When I left school my eldest sister took me to have my first decent haircut. It was similar to what George Michael had at the time, a short crop gelled into a feathered effect. It helped my confidence as I no longer had a massive mane of ugly boring hair to contend with, or hide under.
• As soon as I was 17 I began learning to drive, I was a fairly slow learner (compared to my friends) and it took me 3 tests and 11 months, but I eventually passed. Being able to drive a car on my own was a massive boost to my confidence, making me realise that I was able to do more than I initially thought possible. A good lesson for life.
• For my 18th birthday my mum paid for my first set of contact lenses. From the age of about 12 I had been wearing glasses ALL the time and I hated them. They are so inconvenient, cause grease spots on your face, cloud up when you go from cold to hot environments, have to be wiped clean all the time. I really hated them and I think I felt like I was hiding behind them sometimes, scared to come out. Once I had contact lenses I began to come out of my shell.
• Going on from the contact lenses, last year I got my eyes lasered and it was probably the best money I have ever spent (and the most!). I am finally free of the constraints of having to put lenses in to see anything, the discomfort they can cause and the possible negative effects they can have (and were having) on my eyes. Now, I feel that I can go anywhere at any time, without having to think if my lenses have been cleaning for long enough etc.
• Moving out of my mum's was a major decision for me. Not only did I move out, I moved a couple of hundred miles away to live with friends. Probably the best and most life-defining decision I have ever made. I will forever be grateful to my since-passed friend Craig Armet and all the other friends he put me in touch with in Torquay and all their help which allowed me to find out and become the person I really was, instead of the person I thought everyone else wanted me to be.
• And finally, joining the gym. I joined about 10 months ago and it has made a big difference to my confidence again. I had always been the "skinny" one, despite never engaging in any sports and very little exercise. A few years ago I noticed that I was developing a bit of a belly (sitting down for 12 hours a day at work will do that to you). This year I was finally able to afford to go to the gym and I have tried quite hard to get into the whole thing. My belly has almost completely gone and is being replaced with a six-pack (nearly). I now look in the mirror every time I am changing my top just to get a look at my nice body. I never did that before. EVER! It makes me wish that I had joined the gym when I was younger, but I am so happy that I have now. It also gives me something to do on days when, as I have no one to hang out with most days, my life would otherwise be spent sitting at home in front of the telly or on the computer. Having the goal of something specific to do each day is such an important step to get out of the funk that you can fall into sometimes.

Simple things that really have helped me. I am no where near perfectly happy, but these easy(ish) steps really have made it easier for me to cope with the disappointments and depressive episodes in my life. I recommend that, if you feel the same way, you try at least one and see how much you feel better about yourself. Sometimes a simple thing can really prove to you that:

It Gets Better