Missing Craig

Today marks the 8th anniversary of the death of the most influential person in my entire life and probably my best friend ever.

Craig Armet

I first got to know Craig via letters when I was 18 and met him about a year later. He was the first person to give me a "gay education," giving me information that I needed as a very shy and naive young man beginning to explore his sexuality.
I had know I was gay from about the age of 7, but had been to scared to do anything about it. The information Craig gave me enabled me to come out of my shell and explore my opportunities in an informed way. He was patient with me, answering such questions as "How do I know if someone is gay?"
I know his initial motive for contacting me was not 100% innocent, but we soon became very good friends upon meeting in person. I stayed with him regularly after my first tentative visit. I fell in love with Torquay, most probably because of the freedom I felt upon visiting there for the first time and the wonderfully interesting and diverse crowd of people he introduced me to.
I eventually had the opportunity, and the shove, to move to Torquay permanently and it was the best decision of my life. I was at last able to be myself all the time, as opposed to the person I thought everyone (i.e. my family) wanted me to be. He even provided a home for me initially until I was able to move in with another friend, who he had introduced me too and is the next most important influence in my life so far, Alexis.
If I hadn't met Craig, I don't know where I would be, what sort of person I would be and even if I would still be alive. Just prior to meeting him I had attempted suicide. His first letter to me, replying to an ad that I had placed in Record Mirror, arrived within a couple of weeks of that attempt. It changed my life. It gave me back my reason to live.
I cannot fully express my gratitude with regards to Craig, he did so much more for me than he ever knew. He was always an interesting person to talk to, a wonderfully eccentric character, such a fun person with a madly stubborn streak and a very compassionate and honest person too.
I miss him terribly.

Kiss-In Protest

So the story is that a gay couple, on their first date, were in a straight pub in Soho, the John Snow (which I've never heard of) and were asked to leave after there were seen to kiss. Without being there and seeing what this kiss involved, a peck or tonsil hockey, it is hard to say if they should have been or not. If it was a full on snog-a-thon then they could have been asked to stop initially and then asked to leave if they did not comply. If it was a peck, or a few pecks, then this is out of order. Anyway, a campaign was started to arrange a "Snog-In" for tonight at the pub. I've just read that the pub closed at about 15:00 and is planning to stay closed tonight, quite a blow for their takings closing on a mild Friday evening. Let's hope that, if they were in the wrong, that this will teach them a valuable lesson. The story has also just been on television on the BBC local news. The snog-in may still go ahead outside the pub. Thinking about it, I remember, about 10 years ago, I was asked to stop kissing in a gay pub myself. I was in Rupert Street and was having a, fairly passionate considering we were all standing and still holding our drinks, three-way kiss. I was embarrassed by, but complied with the request. Ours was a full on, tongues-and-all kiss so I can see the point of asking us to stop, but if this protested kiss was an innocent first date kiss, "with no tongues" & "hands on the table" as one of the kissers claims, then the pub should face ALL the consequences.

Ben Cohen

After my recent posting "Beer With Ben" I was asked, "Who he?"

I find it hard to believe that there are any gay men out there who do not know who this wonderful man is, but I guess there might be a few sheltered individuals so thought I would share some views of this amazing sexy man, who just happens to be a nice guy too, apparently:

Ben Cohen, for those who don't know, is a rugby player who was part of England's Six Nations and World Cup winning squads of 2003. He is still currently playing pro rugby, though whether he will still be doing so after the end of this season who knows. He seems to work constantly for charitable causes too, including the RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution) and has just launched a new foundation and his Acceptance Tour, promoting equality, anti-bullying and anti-homophobia, a tour which will travel across the USA.

I hope to find out for myself if he really is a nice guy (though I have no doubts). Terry has agreed to go to "Beers With Ben" on the 20th April, so maybe I'll get the chance.

Beer With Ben Anyone?

I've been looking forward to going to support Ben Cohen at the 2 Brewers since I first heard about the event there. "Beer With Ben" is a fundraising night helping to launch his Acceptance Tour, promoting anti-bullying and anti-homophobia. He has already done one night in Manchester hosted by their local inclusive rugby club the Spartans. Check out this video from YouTube (Blogger is not letting me add the video at the moment). The night at the 2 Brewers, on 20th April, is in conjunction with the Kings Cross Steelers. I strongly believe in what Ben is trying to do. In some respects I think it is more important to get more straight allies, than to have more out gay sports people. Straights outnumber us, so there are more of them to educate and win over, so the more straight examples of accepting people we can get the better. My problem is that I can't find anyone to accompany me to this important night. My "rugby friends" don't want to go out on a work night and the rest of my friends just aren't interested. I don't want to go on my own, but I may have to if I want to find out more about what Ben is trying to do. We'll see if I can win some friends over.

More Like This Please

I've just seen this on Facebook and think it is a good start. More things like this need to be made and shown in schools, colleges and at youth groups, to encourage young people that they can be themselves, and that they can stick up for their friends or even complete strangers. If they have that strength it can encourage someone else to also, and the snowball starts rolling. It's all about acceptance. Don't abuse someone because of their differences, engage them and learn from them.