I hate to be on a downer after I've been in such a good mood lately. I worked my first night shift in weeks last night, the usual duty manager wasn't on, so I thought I would perform a little experiment. I wondered how long I would have to wait to be given my first break. I am due 3 half-hour breaks each shift. Luckily I had my food with me and a drink too. I didn't even see the DM until I finally had to give in and call him at 05:00 and ask for a toilet break (TEN HOURS INTO THE TWELVE HOUR SHIFT). I made sure that he knew I wasn't happy and that I expected to be getting my three breaks on tonight's shift.
Now, with that in mind, knowing that I have probably made an enemy now, I really don't want to go into work tonight, even more than normal. I hate that fucking place.
I've got an appraisal on the 10th of this month and I am struggling to find positive things to put on my appraisal form. Personally, from what we have been doing so far since I joined, I think the whole new department that I've joined is pretty much a waste of time and money. We do not do anything that the rest of the security team couldn't do on top of their normal duties. I know I should tell them what they want to hear, but I have this mental disorder that makes me want to tell the truth the whole time, which will not do me any favours, especially if I find myself stuck there for 4 years like I was at the last place that I also hated. I shall have to think long and hard about how truthful I want to be and whether I can face the consequences if I am honest with them. I can't afford to be let go or forced to quit.